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Open Poetry #6
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-- Shattering Like Glass --
| Open Poetry #6 |
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-- Shattering Like Glass -- |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL 
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-- Shattering Like Glass -- (??-??-98) Keeping it inside, bound by a love so strong. There was nothing to say, when it suddenly felt wrong. Just kept it inside and hoped for the best, Maybe this time I'll pass the test. Maybe this time the virus won't spread, Just a muffle of a voice was inside my head. But it's spreading faster than I ever thought before, One little word should have led to more. But it didn't and so it spreads like the plague, The thoughts build up from that voice in my head. Still keeping it in but bursting at the seems. There's too much here that we can't fit between. Just a little gap or space, a place to get through. Just one touch so that I could feel you. But it isn't there it's way too late, The virus has spread and love becomes hate. A word said in comfort offers only lies, A word said in sympathy, is just jealosuy in disguise. I'm trying to hold it in but I just can't last, My blood is like poison, and my heart beats too fast. I was stronger than diamonds, But I shattered like glass. I learned to control my emotions, But I never learned to let go of the past. Now it's done, we're over, we're through, But there's still too much of me that belongs to you. I know how to let it go, but I can't control my heart. It seems to be the same whenever we part. A relief from the virus that I couldn't keep inside. Regret from it's poison that I see in your eyes. Emptiness from the part of me that used to be filled by you. Sadness from the part of me that used to be with you. I try to move forward and forget about the past. I try to be a diamond but I'm shaterring like glass... --Dave "The storm rises up when the shadows descend every beat of my heart every day without end I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break till theres no more to give if thats what it takes I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed I will lay down my life if thats what you need every second I live thats the promise I make" I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dave - All Rights Reserved | |||
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
Oh my favorite line...I tried to be a diamond,but I am shattering like glass....so expressive...loved it  "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Absolutely remarkable. Brilliant piece. I love the way you display the emotions of your heart. Jeffrey |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Keeping it inside, bound by a love so strong. There was nothing to say, when it suddenly felt wrong. -------------- Still keeping it in but bursting at the seems. There's too much here that we can't fit between. Just a little gap or space, a place to get through. Just one touch so that I could feel you. ----------- A word said in comfort offers only lies, A word said in sympathy, is just jealosuy in disguise. I'm trying to hold it in but I just can't last, My blood is like poison, and my heart beats too fast. I was stronger than diamonds, But I shattered like glass. I learned to control my emotions, But I never learned to let go of the past. ----------- I try to move forward and forget about the past. I try to be a diamond but I'm shaterring like glass... -------------- SO way cool, very well written out emotions. this one should be set to music for sure. I was getting ready to sign off...even told bsq, he was my last read...and then this popped up... thanxs for spoiling me... i got a serious poetry fixx today LOL see ya jm ...every moment of every day... your still with me in every way. every poem and song... every rhyme and verse... your still here...like a beautiful curse. janet marie |
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weaubleau Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 101MO |
"i try to be a diamond, but i'm shattering like glass" -- a line that i will never forget. wonderful poetry. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I enjoyed the lines.."I know how to let go..but I can't control my heart... Emptiness from the part of me that used to be filled by you...Sadness from the part of be that used to be with you." You have described perfectly how hard it is to let go of someone in our past and move on. It is an emotional and a mental battle. James |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow, you have penned some marvelous, if very sad lines here. I can truly relate to the feeling all through this piece. Beautifully done. Michael |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
I loved this. How true though if we cannot forget the past how it shatters us everytime we remember. Letting go is hard to do |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
WOW. I don't know what to say WhiteNite. This was superb. Simply remarkable. Clearly expressed smooth...a mark of a great poet. Great Job The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, not the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship." --Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Dave~ This was a wonderful read. So sad in love our it can soon turn to hate but still inside that love never really dies altogether. Tracie~ Keep all the windows of your mind open Anne Rooks |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
these brown eyes see the magic, they read between the lines. trust me when I tell you... you have a gift divine. so heres to inspiration... and finding true content. you have a special talent, that is heaven sent. jm trust me...(smile) pick up that poets pen my friend. take care, jm ...every moment of every day... your still with me in every way. every poem and song... every rhyme and verse... your still here...like a beautiful curse. janet marie |
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Torrie Junior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 19 |
Wow. That was absolutely beautiful. I know exactly what you mean! I'm exactly the same way - I keep stuff inside & make myself control my emotions, but really it eats me up inside & makes relationships even harder. You have perfectly expressed the way I feel so often. Great job! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very painful, very well written. I can relate to the feeling you get when love fades I liked; "Just a little gap or space, a place to get through. Just one touch so that I could feel you." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Strong emotional and well done! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
very nice, there are so many regrets we have, and so many things we are just not as strong as we wish we were....nicely written |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
do ya know how much I'm enjoying this LOL way cool your a poet...and now you know it (smile) later gator jm(poerty angel) LOL Well the sun sets gently on your shoulders And it makes me want to touch you there. And the light in your eyes makes me feel Like there's something much better out there Something kind... And I know someday I might be looking around Trying to find some purpose Well purpose it can't be that hard to find As long as I've got the wind... The wind and your love to carry me. vertical horizon |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
-this was super cool! I loved the lines of this piece so much...especially "I try to be a diamond but I'm shaterring like glass". That is an awesome line my friend! Really liked this a lot...gonna put it in my collections of favorite poetry. Thanks so much for sharing! Take care, AMY  ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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Flidais New Member
since 2000-03-27
Posts 9Durham, CA |
Wow! I really liked that. It sounded so good and it expressed so many feelings. I have felt like that before. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Dave, I looked this one up, and I can't decide now which one is my favorite!!  You certainly need to pick up that pen as JM said...don't worry about trying to outdo yourself...just write what you feel, and I'm sure it will be wonderful...as it will be you - on the inside. If you write from the heart, how can you go wrong... Thanks for all your wonderful comments to me too, BTW....your words mean alot. I'm glad you like my poetry...ppssst...I wrote 3 today! And about that kiss....did you say you were "thirsty" for one? Am I remembering right? Ahem...well...I will see what I can do, ok? (puckering up to practice!) LOL |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
ROFL@ Poet Femme practicing to kiss! That's like Donald Duck practicing to quack! You have good emotions here, Dave. The poem is well thought out and the idea flows gracefully. Very nice work. |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
I too, am profoundly moved by the line "I try to be a diamond, but I'm shattering like glass" I won't be forgetting that. What a deep and sad poem, filled with such psychologically emotional truths. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Balladeer!!! I'm gonna quack you....er....smack you! ROFLMAO....You know, a little practice never hurt anybody!!! Practice makes perfect, and that's why I'm so darn perfect!!!! hehehehe  I have a few words I could say about you too, ya know! Do the words "butt=flatulent" make any sense to you sir??? ROFLMAO Sheesh....sorry WhiteNite, but I HAD to defend myself here! Did I say great poem?? You still thirsty? Ha Ha |
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WhiteNite Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 241Montgomery, AL |
No reason to appologize... free country and all. =) And of course I'm still thirsty... however I'm a little out of practice on that too. Just like riding a bike though. A few (or twenty Off to work I go.. I'm going to be late... AGAIN! Arg! "The storm rises up when the shadows descend every beat of my heart every day without end I will stand like a rock I will bend till I break till theres no more to give if thats what it takes I will risk everything I will fight I will bleed I will lay down my life if thats what you need every second I live thats the promise I make" I have no idea who wrote this... tell me if you know. =) |
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Ella Junior Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 20 |
The beauty of this poem, Dave, it just takes my breath away. Where did you learn to express yourself so well? The words, the emotions, the feelings, i got when i read your writing can not be put into words. I'm speechless. Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ella |
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