Open Poetry #6 |
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Maybe Someday |
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SorrowsMystress Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 178I'm a wanderer, a nomad...I don't live in one particular area, Just wherever I end up. ![]() |
****this is actually a work in progress (I've been working on it for about 4 months now) but this is what I have so far...enjoy!*** I cover up my painful cries With broken stories and little white lies You still love her You show me every day Even though she hurt you And threw your heart away But you could care less how bad it feels When you go on your secret deals Leave me alone with the voices you helped create Voices that hurt me and cause me to hate I want it over with the man you've become And get back with the one that still loved me some I don't know what I did to you That caused you to treat me the way you do You do everything that you always said you wouldn't I want to leave you but somehow feel I shouldn't Maybe I can get you back The way you were before you cracked I know there has to be someone else Or I wouldn't be feeling the way that I've felt I can't meet up to your standards any longer You use my weakness to make yourself stronger Each time I look at you I fall in love again My stomach begins to hurt and my mind starts to spin But then you open your mouth, or even worse Look at me like I'm some kind of wretched curse I feel like dirt most all of the time It's only when you're drunk that everythings fine I hate it when you lie, but you do it so well You make me enchanted, drawn away by your spell And I hate myself for ever falling for you Even though there was so little I could do You tend to break my heart almost everyday Making it unbearable, but for some reason I stay Me loving you so much I don't know what to do You keeping me around cuz there's no one better to fool I hear enough negative things about me from myself Do you actually, honestly think that I need YOUR help? "It was my love that did us both to death. " -Sylvia Plath |
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© Copyright 2000 Kimberlee Jones - All Rights Reserved | |||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I did enjoy reading this...I never knew anyone spent four months working on a poem..I like to take an idea and then work with it for a while...fifteen minutes to maybe a couple hours and if it doesn't start to fit together I'll lay it aside and forget about it for awhile..sometimes I'll get back to it but if it doesn't start flowing I put it away again. I have about 10 poems kindof sitting around waiting for my time to give them life. James |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
This may be a work in progress...but it's really good as is if you ask me! I really liked the expressions in this poem..bouncing back from a person in love to a person who knows what's "really" going on...very good job you are doing here! Take care, AMY ![]() ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
I agree with the others. This poem seems quite complete to me but if you wanna add more, I guess that it won't hurt. Great poem! Nathan |
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Ladyhawk Junior Member
since 2000-04-08
Posts 18Brownsville, TN -USA- |
a poem that comes from the heart! Ladyhawk THE SONG OF LADYHAWK Hawk says diamonds danced on air Hawk says creator above put them there Hawk says Redtail is now my name and from Wakiyan is where I came From Thunderbeings, from the rock and the tree, he gave me these wings and then set me free Through eyes of split gold shining so bright And what I see now? No joy just fright Shoot at it now, in the tree over there, is song I hear most when not in the air And when my heart breaks and I fly no more I return to Creator and knock on his door Creator says Hawk come to me fore you were my best that's why I made you soar You tried to show them but they couldn't see fore they saw the diamonds instead of thee Now you go and tell them what I said to say their turn will come just as yours has this day And when they come stand and look me in the eye I will tell them the whens and the whys that it wasn't Hawk race that I choose let die. It was the human that I chose let go A selfish race that could never say no Starving and hungry they let their own grow No Sacred heart has been brought forth to thee I gave them everything yet they turned from me Diamonds, gold, others, shine so bright but I am Creator I bring you the light Remember just once these words you might save Spirit not diamonds you take to your grave |
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Ladyhawk Junior Member
since 2000-04-08
Posts 18Brownsville, TN -USA- |
a poem that comes from the heart! Ladyhawk THE SONG OF LADYHAWK Hawk says diamonds danced on air Hawk says creator above put them there Hawk says Redtail is now my name and from Wakiyan is where I came From Thunderbeings, from the rock and the tree, he gave me these wings and then set me free Through eyes of split gold shining so bright And what I see now? No joy just fright Shoot at it now, in the tree over there, is song I hear most when not in the air And when my heart breaks and I fly no more I return to Creator and knock on his door Creator says Hawk come to me fore you were my best that's why I made you soar You tried to show them but they couldn't see fore they saw the diamonds instead of thee Now you go and tell them what I said to say their turn will come just as yours has this day And when they come stand and look me in the eye I will tell them the whens and the whys that it wasn't Hawk race that I choose let die. It was the human that I chose let go A selfish race that could never say no Starving and hungry they let their own grow No Sacred heart has been brought forth to thee I gave them everything yet they turned from me Diamonds, gold, others, shine so bright but I am Creator I bring you the light Remember just once these words you might save Spirit not diamonds you take to your grave |
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Ladyhawk Junior Member
since 2000-04-08
Posts 18Brownsville, TN -USA- |
why it posted me twice I don't know (stupid newby that I am!) Ladyhawk |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Lovely poem. I think it is finished. 4 months, this poem really must have had a lot of inner "garbage" to get out and told to the world. I don't think I have ever spend more than 20 minutes a poem. hmmm, maybe this will be a lesson to me. Thanks for sharing. It is lovely. Teresa King www.tipsfortop.com |
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