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A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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~Born Depressed~ |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~Born Depressed~ Mom always said it was a problem, dad always said it was a curse. I always knew they didn't understand, but then I always knew it could be worse. Sis seemed rather uneasy, friends never knew what to say. It never really mattered to me, I always managed to find my way. Teacher and counselors wanted to change me, doctors offered up pills that cure. The shrinks always had the answers... it was my questions of which they were unsure. Content to suffer in silence, blocking out the past, so as not to dwell. Writing poetry, listening to music, distracted in my denial, a game I play well. Its not a matter of right or wrong, its just a matter of its always been this way Besides, when nobody hears you crying... then what's the point of your tears anyway. It gotten to the point I don't notice anymore, its nothing I can fix or change. There are lots of other people like me, still many think its just all too strange. My honest opinion is they need to just let it go, and if they cant, then they need to look the other way. I don't mean to sound ungrateful ... it's just that I don't know what they expect me to say. Janet Marie **inspired by a long conversation with my sis, about our childhood.I wrote it from the perspective of as if I was back in time, as teen. I am fine, I promise  jm she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough, and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in. ...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me... and I feel like somethings gonna give... and I'm a little bit angry. matchbox20 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
JM...this one has really struck me, your thoughts here are so very familiar to me. The words are almost as if spoken from someone that I know. I am glad that you are ok, the person I know still struggles... |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Even while written in retrospect, this piece is still powerful. Many of my friends have suffered bouts of depression, so I could relate to this. Glad you're okay! Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow, this was a great poem! I can relate to this situation personally. Good job! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very powerful piece of writing, Janet Marie. I'm glad you are fine!  Denise |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
-Janet WOW, this really struck a chord with me, i use to be this same way just a few short years ago. you have an amazing gift that continues to shine through with your work! i know i seem like the happy-go-lucky kinda person, but it wasn't always like this. through my faith in the Lord and Jesus Christ and my fight to survive, I became stronger. I am glad to know you're "fine" but I also know a part of our childhood always stays with us. much love to ya. take care amy ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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CherylLynnMckee Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215 |
This one spoke to my heart..as I have battled depression before...And I agree a very powerful poem here. |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This poem is very sad and I can relate to what you're saying because i"ve been depressed before too. Thank you for sharing this soulful piece. Nathan |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Janet Marie~ Though I don't know the feelings of depression from an intimate experience ... I have two friends who do. I like to think that their 'shells' are what protects them from whatever they need protecting from. They teasingly call me the 'clam popper' cause I'm always opening them up to catch a look at the pearls they keep inside. They are both amazingly talented and I love them dearly. One of my 'Clam' friends wrote this for me. 'That clam popper won't let us be and just throw us back into the sea. She says she ain't through with us yet and we are tangled in her net. A pearl is what she thinks she'll find embedded deep down in my mind. Well clam popper try again this little pearl ain't no gem.' Now, how could you NOT love a jewel like that? Janet, thank you for reminding me just how precious my friends are. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
.gif) J.M. You are better than "fine" you are the best!! Your words are very Powerful! "Besides, when nobody hears you crying... then what's the point of your tears anyway" There have been alot of people in my life that have offered their "two cents" as I struggled with counseling and to those who haven't been through it some have said "just forget it and it will go away"....boy wish I had thought of that....  Angel wing hugs to my most precious friend and sister of my soul** Beautifully done again!! Hold me for yesterday Kiss me for tomorrow But love me for today. |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
This struck a deep chord for me. I have suffered greatly from depression, but my mother far more so. I might post a piece I wrote for her some day, called "Sad from the Womb". Her first picture was at two years old, hanging her head, looking very sad. In all my childhood pictures, she struggles to smile, but never makes it. During her life she has suffered several nervous breakdowns, and her depression was a force so powerful, it affected me all my life. Thanks be to God, she has been able to recover quite well, now that she's nearly eighty, and after eleven years of therapy some thirty years ago got her on the road to recovery. I too, am glad to hear you say you are fine!! < !signature--> ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG [This message has been edited by Rosemary J. Gwaltney (edited 04-02-2000).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Not an easy subject. You've written about this quite well. Thank you for sharing this with us. dp |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
thank you to ALL who replied to this, I am very moved by how you related to these words. I am sorry and saddened by how many others live with the shadow of depression.I know it is a lifelong and daily battle for many.Hopefuly it is made easier by knowing there are others who understand. It has been my writing that has helped me the most thru the years.I know it is the same for all of us. Thank you for your concern, and words of unerstanding and encouragment. as one, we stand alone...with each other...we are a force of nature. take care, with much respect, janet marie thank you,truly... eagle one Elizabeth lovebug Denise Amy-girl Cheryl Nate dog Margie-girl Butterfly (S.S.) Rosemary dorreen she said I dont know if I've ever been good enough, and I'm a little bit rusty, and I feel like my head is caving in. ...and I dont know if I've ever been really loved by a hand thats touched me... and I feel like somethings gonna give... and I'm a little bit angry. matchbox20 |
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mete out Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270england |
***jm, phew. this rings true to me. you hit me hard with this amazing piece. wow. perfect. I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it. |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Janet, Lovely and powerful piece of writing. It was magnificent. I, too, know the truth in these words: Besides, when nobody hears you crying... then what's the point of your tears anyway. But I learned there are those who can hear it, and offer you solace. I am glad you are ok. But if you ever do need to talk about anything at anytime, you are more than welcome to talk to me, my friend!  Love, Terry ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This is a very powerfully written piece, and appeals to all because it comes from the heart and from a wonderful poetic talent. Excellent work, Janet Marie Liz |
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Miss.Queeny Junior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 22 |
Janet.M This is lovely, well done and I hope you never feel like that again xxx |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
This was a very deep piece. It hit me very hard. I know the feelings quite well, and know a few others like it. The emotion was wonderful, and I'm glad you're not feeling like that still. Sometimes the most important things can't be seen with the eyes, but are rather felt with the heart. *Cassie Roseen* |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Maybe the best way to travel back in time is through poetic expression. This poem was thought provoking and sad. Nice work. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
this is sad  |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Janet this is sad. I struggle with it myself from time to time. Glad you're all right now God bless ya |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Extremely powerful, Janet. I also am someone who has suffered from depression. It can be nearly impossible to overcome at times. This is extremely well done, you definitely made my heart ache. *Krista Knutson* As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins. ~*Albert Schweitzer*~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Wonderful work Janet Marie!! I felt this way in the hazy past myself. I am glad it is only a possible perspective and not how you are feeling now.Great portrayl of the misunderstood  There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You've stunned me, Janet Marie! I am beginning to believe that we were separated at birth! (And I'm fine, too, but let's not take an opinion poll! lol) Beautiful, moving piece here, m'twin! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Thanks again to all who read and offered such sweet and caring replies. I am taken back by how many relate to this poems subject. I truly wish we all didnt relate to it so well. thank you for letting me know my words touch you..as your do mine... thanks meteout, Terry Liz Miss Queeny Dawn Eclipse Danny hoot-girl Dovey Alwye Isis serenity-girl...twins...now thats a scary thought for our mothers..(smile)she didnt know what to do with 1 of me on a good day LOL ...when you walked into the room, I saw their faces, you made it feel like time was standing still...and I felt fascination... then you turned and smiled in my direction... and my heart...gave me away. glass tiger |
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CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
This is a wonderful piece. I've dealt with depression almost my whole life, it can be horrible. I've finally found a reason to live again, and things are starting to look up. Its really horrible how many people suffer from this, I always thought i was the only one. you did a great job |
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