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Open Poetry #6
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eyesplus2
Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 163
australia

0 posted 2000-03-30 03:49 AM


              Heart beats
                                                                                    moments in time

                                                                                             tear  drops
                                                                                           Rivers of dreams

                                                                                                     Some found
                                                                                                      Some lost

                 Love given
                                                                                                          Love taken

                                                                                                             Heart beats
                                                                                                               Moments in life



[This message has been edited by eyesplus2 (edited 03-30-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 eyesplus2 - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 2000-03-30 09:12 AM


I like the poem, but found the layout to make it a bit difficult to read...perhaps try something like this:

Heart beats
   moments
     in time
        tear drops
Rivers of dreams
           Some found
              Some lost
           Love given
       Love taken
Heart beats
       moments
           in life
                                                                                                              


mete out
Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270
england
2 posted 2000-03-31 09:22 AM


***eyesplus2,
This is gorgeous.
No offence Hoot, but I like the layout...kinda reminds me of Patrick Jones'
style.
Anyway, yet another fantastic piece, emotive and sooo good!!


 I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it.



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2000-03-31 09:26 AM


No offense, but I'm with Hoot...it's a great poem, but the layout was a bit off..  
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