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Open Poetry #6
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I unpeeled an onion and it made me cry
| Open Poetry #6 |
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I unpeeled an onion and it made me cry |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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I carefully peeled down a layer of hatred and one of long time resentment another of that old familiar irritation one of coldness and another of protection from pain and handed you the very heart of me ready, waiting for the edge of your trust to help me pare them softly carefully and rid myself of all of the old but you carelessly looked past my painful bareness to only the places where you saw need to cut deeper and you wielded your familiar blade I guess… you prefer your onions diced so I quickly unpeeled my skins tied them tightly in a knot at the top so this won't ever happen again I unpeeled an onion today and it made me cry. |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I'm not peeling onions right now, but a tear or three is rolling down my cheeks ... (((((HUGS))))) I could feel and identify with this piece so well Corazon ... Excellent writing here .... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
So sad  Well written, Corazon!Denise |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This vividly portrays the pain of opening yourself to someone only to have them zero in on your vulnerability ... well done! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thanks Shannon, Denise and Ruth for such touching comments....some day again I will write to make people smile instead of cry...sigh... glad you liked...thanks |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Corazon~ This is an incredible piece. Very, very well done. The thought you put into it is so eveident. Sometimes pain produces such tears so they can be shared with others. *HUGS* and more *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
Corazon, Often times we give our trust to someone only for them to abuse it and even though i know this exact feeling you explain and i know the pain it brings you have to keep trying love. Someone is out there for you. Someone that will take your heart and hold it in their hands taking care of it and once again making it whole. Good Luck, ~Angie P.S isn't it to bad that the best poetry comes from a broken heart [This message has been edited by just_another_fe (edited 03-28-2000).] |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Another sweet smelling slice of Corazon -- your espinado pricks nice words from your heart! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a talent you have for displaying your emotions in poetic form. This is so beautifully done...... |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Lovely writing Corazon...I appreciate your soft heart and I hope you will find someone that will respect and appreciate your beauty. James |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Enjoyed reading this poem, one layer at a time. Liked your analogy to peeling an onion, and the free verse worked well I think. Nice work. |
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hsystems Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 319Murray, UT, USA |
Beautifully written, Corazon...your username is well-chosen - plenty of "heart" in this poem!  )Troy Beautiful, Thought-Provoking Poetry http://www.h-systems.net/p1.htm |
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CherylLynnMckee Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 215 |
Your poem shows, why we hold back are true selves..even with the people we love most.Nicely done! |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Corazon, this flowed flawlessly, with so much meaning. Loved it. Parker |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
Marge thanks so much for the compliments and the hugs  just_another_fe, loved your poem, thank you for thinking of me and for the good wishes P.S isn't it to bad that the best poetry comes from a broken heart ….yep….sigh LR thank you…my espinado keeps me company these days…at least its good it can write good poems *g* Balladeer... jmlee12345... Danny ... hsystems... Chery ... parker.... thank you am glad you enjoyed the fruits of my sleepless poetry writing nights |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
A slice of your heart that makes me cry. My thoughts are with you as I know how you feel my dear |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Corazon, I am so glad I did not miss this, wow you show very much power in your words, I am sorry though because its sad when we lay our selves open only to be hurt deeper. Cerenity |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Well, I know I'm late for this peeling but this is a powerful well done poem and I just wanted to let you know...you are strong! |
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