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Open Poetry #6
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Hank Killed the Devil in the Harland Bottom Bog
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Hank Killed the Devil in the Harland Bottom Bog |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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Warm blanketing mist rolled August fog across Harland Bottom half moon slicing through drops dew hung dripping from kudzu laden trees Frogs swamp singing to stray amphibimuse Russell stooge thumped fists flying into sweaty palms walking the white line Trey Moe thwacked him quiet Hank walked silent footfalls fading into fog the bog chirping, hooting, sleeping into the midnight moonlight Runt lagged six paces behind the pack jeans dragging asphalt fraying more threads dangling into boot heels made him 2 inches taller than short Rusty muffler rumble V-8 echoing thru timbers Pepper Cox in his beaten step side lights heading around the crossroads glowing halos into long fog shadows Runt grunted "Pepper" the footstep quartet skirting to the shoulder crouched in the ramble bye the Constable half drunk hound dog Hal driving him home again hanging from the passenger window howling at moon shadows Red lights braked timing chain skipping back firing as Pepper pulled to a roaring stop face white whiskered over shoulder shouting "Boys" Hal growling "Ya'll need not be a runnin round out here, likely get killed dead." Grinding gears he resumed the ride home to his other half case of beer Trey inhaled passing the roach into Russell's thumping palms coughed out "crap" waiting for Pepper to pass gas burning out black smoke into the fog Boys resumed the walk into the Devil's lair Runt lagging six paces behind the pack Nobody walked the bottom to the dark of night the dead of night when the bog yeilded the harvest of a hundred years the fountain of a dead grave the muse of the mist the source of silence the bottom of daylight bottom of life Evil dead reared up in sunlight those who tried to hide in the dark Devil's lair had a fountain with a demon's head breathing mist to the evil garden and out to the bog A myth to most but to those who walked in daylight it was there, real remnant brick crumbling the stone head spouting rays of evil from blind eyes Inverted crosses wrought the iron gates lacing the ancient garden the ranks of a forgotten clan passed to generations of the Born Again. Hank didn't hold cotton to the devil lore thought the Henley brothers the only true slime to ever ooze from the bog thirteen mean sons of bitches and their dad till they threw him from the back of a moving pick-up everybody said they all screwed their sister the only girl Runt dragged heels against thread bare nerves as the four boys bound by pride, fear, stupidity, and a bud lid squared their spines ripping oxygen from the fog as they approached the mossy shrine ever-ready beaming lights glaring into the stone demon's mouth Gasping as bats flapped through the summer sky the boys settled in sitting on the edge of the old stone wall that lined the dry pool the wrought iron gates creaking in the night breeze Russell kicked Reeboks and thumped stooge thumps to occupy the time Trey licking another joint into roll as a flame lit another puff of eternity Runt thought he saw red eyes in the mist and hid his own as a Night Hawk flew over The boys waited Waited Swamp burping out cricket songs till dawn when Sol's rays proved the Devil no scarier than Sunday Schools Revelations < !signature--> Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 03-28-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Wow!!! Exquisite imagery Rebel !!!! Very chilling piece .... Excellent writing here .... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Parts of this remind me of coon-hunting ventures in my childhood... where protecting the corn just didn't quite seem worth facing the scary things hiding behind every stump and underneath every bush. *G* This is great... it pulls the reader in for the entire trip. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
this is incredible....reminds me of the time my kids came home from an adventure down the river and my daughter swears (she even had feathers to prove it) that they found the place where Macho killed a chicken...lol...memories are great when you can write them as well as you  |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks very much ladies... another title for this one may have been -- How Night Hawke got his name... (can you tell which one wuz me??) LOL |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
WOW! A most EXCELLENT tale! Like the feel and the flow with all the powerful imagery. Top shelf material that should be placed in the top 100 of PIP. And my vote is for the title as posted. I do like your style Sir Rebel. Thanks for the read. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Rebel~ This is fascinating. What images lurked in the swampy bog. I ain't scared 'a no ghosts ! And everybody knows the 'devil' went down to Georgia ... so we're safe ! Me? I'm sticking close to Runt and covering my eyes ... just in case ! Man, you really brought this whole scene to life for me. Wonderful ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
This I like. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
I know who to invite next time I go camping LR!!!! I'm very impressed with this...you knew that, right??? Keep em flowin sir!!!  Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks everyone...I'll be happy to go camping anytime... somebody just bring the tokes... LOL |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
So much I love about this one..the images..the cahracters.. the story..the way it draws you in so you're there with them till the end loved this line "half moon slicing through drops" sets the scene well and this part caught me too"the harvest of a hundred years the fountain of a dead grave the muse of the mist the source of silence" and this"Runt dragged heels against thread bare nerves" a catch of their fear and tension there More please!!! "Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time that you've never had it before." ~author unknown~ |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow...what a tale you've told here and with such intense imagery...wonderfully done |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
When the stars and moon are speaking in whispers about the devil, madness setting in twisted 'round a tree- roots snarled in ashen memories of feathers tossed by hawks who soar through fear on nameless nights... remember this... I have a tent. hehe...  Seriously, your writing here is wonderful in both imagery and memory... you take the reader with you to see life through your eyes. I was going to point out several lines which I thought were very well done, but as I read, there were more and more and too many to reference. Thanks for the read. Excellent writing. Sincerely. You may not have a name, but you certainly name your days and brand them in memory... then pass along those memories by naming them to your reader. Well done, indeed! -doreen |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Wow!!! Great imagery!! I could feel the fog wrap around my legs and the acrid taste of the roach and the intense gut wrenching bravado/fear in the moonlight and I could see the red eyes of the Night Hawk.Very well written. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This tale is much more than "two inches taller than short". A captivating verse that drags us right into the bog. Well done and very intriguing. Liz |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Doreen...how big is that tent? Will it fit on the back of a cafe racer? LOL Thanks to all of you for your time and wonderful compliments.... In my mind I know all poetry is about love at some level...when I put down my memories like this even when love isn't the apparent theme I look to see where it is.. and I think here it's the bond of friendship, the love of adolesence turning into maturity, and maybe a little love for my new friends in sharing a bit of me and my life experience... Thanks again... TTFN |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Yes. |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Very good. I like the story in this one ! ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Rebel, this reads easy and you make it look easy but, in my book.....it ain't easy! Normally, the smoother the flow, the harder the work to make it so. I applaud your abilities....and your storytelling. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks very much.... wow deer.. what a compliment... thanks... |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I can easily say that this is one of the most fantastic poems I've yet read from you. I'm always caught off guard and delightedly amazed (although, I shouldn't be amazed by now...lol), at the way you use imagery and the slow rolling flow your poems have. Quite an experience, I was there with you! Thank you for sharing the memory. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I am always amazed by two things... the way you write and the way you compliment me... I blush!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
echo a wow! Tremendous writing! |
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