Open Poetry #6 |
Prince Of Eden |
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
PRINCE OF EDEN < !signature-->Banned of the land, a father's pride. Contempt in hand, a dream denied. By greed or lust, who dare gives thought To break His trust now lives forgot. Gloss on the eye of vintage past, Lost to a lie of stone been cast. As brother fell, as hope lived on Yet straight to hell spirit was drawn. Now walk in shame, emotion's flood, Behind a name, once shared, now blood. If by visions serene and calm, Or Decisions' crimson stained palm. Live in shadow, love by disdain That none follow this path of pain. Each tear been kept, solemn sorrow A promise, swept to the morrow. Requiem sung, a shallow grave History wrung by well honed glaive. In sacred halls, no recompense, Sweet Eden falls, long live her prince. Michael Anderson For all behind was dark and drear, And all before was night and fear. How many hours of night or day In those suspended pangs I lay, I could not tell; I scarcely knew If this were human breath I drew. Lord Byron [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 04-15-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
...and it looks even better all put together too. Quite a tale you've spun, my friend. "Or Decisions' crimson stained palm" That is a great line, one of the best I've read yet. Well done, as usual! May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
sigh this is so good yuh |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
You've put some great feeling in this babe...had to read it twice just to get the whole of it... Much expectation is put upon her prince, dare say the fall of Eden will ever be justified? "By greed or lust, who dare gives thought To break His trust now lives forgot." -You've said it all within these lines. This was beautiful Michael.. Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Michael This is magnificent Tracie Keep all the windows of your mind open Anne Rooks |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Such intensity comes from within you, my friend... This is a great piece of work.. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Michael...this is a wonderful piece of poetry. You still reign here at passions |
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Destiny Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 47 |
I think i could spend hours engulfed in this work... i love the lines: Live in shadow, love by disdain That none follow this path of pain. great writing Destiny |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
What a gift you have for storytelling Michael, this is superb |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
M, you are the Master! Another wonderful work from your pen. A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Yeah. What Danny (and all the rest) said. (and me, I'll just say thank you for gifting us with this lovely piece of writing, Michael.) ~ Claire |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Satiate, I think you are my living muse. Should talk with you every time I try to write a poem... I owe this one to you. devina, I can tell you read completely between the lines on this one... You are getting so good at that... Knew you'd like this one. Nan, kinda scarey, huh? Destiny,I have been equally intrigued by your poetry. I'm so glad you enjoyed. Claire, you are quite welcome - and I ditto that sentiment to all of your works as well. Thank you all for the kind replies, Michael |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Deep stuff...but that is not a surprise... Gloss on the eye of vintage past, Lost to a lie of stone been cast. As brother fell, as hope lived on Yet straight to hell spirit was drawn. THIS verse really got me - it is so rich. I just have to say that this is another excellent piece of rhyming poetry. Envying here... K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You must have the most wonderful Muse.... I've never read a poem you wrote that I didn't absolutely love! |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Very deep, very strong, steeped in personal meaning for me. This is an exceptionally well worded poem. |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
My favourite line "Gloss on the eye of vintage past," I like the way it sounds and the image it creates for me Great poem "Love is the only drug you can take that will convince you each time that you've never had it before." ~author unknown~ |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Your passion for words pours out in all of your poetry. All are so well written. Excellent Liz |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Michael, Thank you so much for your time spent, the ideas, style and needless to say the poetic message. May you ever be cradeled on the winds of heaven, magnificent isn't the word for it. Maybe exquisite suits it better... [This message has been edited by lucky (edited 04-15-2000).] |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
A powerfully intense tale, my friend. I especially loved the last verse, it closed this piece extremely well. Exellent work! *Krista Knutson* As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins. ~*Albert Schweitzer*~ |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Micheal, I agree with pdV. None of your work have I read that I didn't absolutely love. Jeffrey |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Michael~ Your poetry is from the heart and that's what comes through in this piece. You have a talent to be pleased with and proud of ... thank you for sharing this with passionate friends. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Thanks for bringing this back up, Lucky. For those of you who may not have noticed what Lucky was pointing out in his post. This was actually meant to be three distinct poems in one. PRINCE OF EDEN Banned of the land, a father's pride. Contempt in hand, a dream denied. By greed or lust, who dare gives thought To break His trust now lives forgot. Gloss on the eye of vintage past, Lost to a lie of stone been cast. As brother fell, as hope lived on Yet straight to hell spirit was drawn. Now walk in shame, emotion's flood, Behind a name, once shared, now blood. If by visions serene and calm, Or Decisions crimson stained palm. Live in shadow, love by disdain That none follow this path of pain. Each tear been kept, solemn sorrow A promise, swept to the morrow. Requiem sung, a shallow grave History wrung by well honed glaive. In sacred halls, no recompense, Sweet Eden falls, long live her prince. Thank you all for the replies. Michael |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Michael, You know that feather quill of marge's is stirring in hot dark ink and she's gonna catch us dead in our artful poetic tracks. Yes... mind waves, and landing in the same currents are somewhat baffling to me. You got that one figured out yet..? |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
SLAM - I see why they like it...good job. |
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