Open Poetry #6 |
The Magnitude of Her unfolding |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The Magnitude of her Unfolding She stayed out late one day in spring whispering sighs into the fragrant sky for she was sixteen and dreams danced down the dusty weed choked path with her. It was dinner time and the air had cooled but her pounding heart and footsteps blazed in youthful ardor. She turned and was bathed in twilight’s glow floating down a street oh it seemed like floating of houses stained pink and mauve against the light of sunset. She could feel the secrets that touched her from the window’s glow of mother’s rocking children’s laughter and those nesting families touched her soul. She could feel the undertow pulling her up into a woman and she couldn’t say why she cried into the darkening sky. A girl is a mighty strong thing she thought and started running her bright hair dancing back and forth and her feet echoing fast go fast. Her breath felt clean and her colt legs leaped bursting bursting was her spirit on that late night in early spring the night she glimpsed the magnitude of her unfolding. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 03-24-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Martie, I think every woman who reads this will know and love it, as I do. And every man...well, I believe it will serve very well to keep the mystery stirring just so. Oh so wonderful, each and every line, image, pause...just right. ~ Claire |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Martie, you've done it again! I think this is one of your best, too! Fabulous poem! Corinne |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You've captured it well, Martie! I remember those days! Denise |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Wow...you have captured it! I enjoy your work so much, Martie, thank you! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
My God, girl~ You just blew me completely away ! Martie~ .. I was THERE ! 'the night she glimpsed the magnitude of her unfolding.' Every woman indeed will identify with this piece. You just get better and better and better. Uniquely YOU ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, You caught the images in a net of subtle lines and painted a beautiful picture. *L* |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
AWESOME Wow, this is a fantastic piece of writing. You have caugt the progression in time with vivid images that bring it all home. Very nice writing here |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
I found myself feeling as if I am standing outside looking in a window, not fully comprehending, but recognizing the special moments held within. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Martie, Wow!!! Excellent job!!! I feel as if it is happening before my eyes....well done!!! Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Martie, It doesn't get any better than this And not only that, you captured a moment in my life Magnificent poetry Liz |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Claire--your words mean alot to me...I admire your poetry. Corinne--thanks to you, and your fabulous poetry I enjoy so much. Denise--Somehow I knew you would Serenity--and I enjoy yours...I want to be your name Marge--thanks so much for being such a good friend Sy--If I caught you in my images, then I was successful. Ruth--I love that word "awesome"...thank you for saying it Mike--I know your vision and that you would understand Lone Wolf--thanks so much for reading and the wow. Liz--I guess I'm not the only one that felt that way hugs! |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Martie, Excellant, I really loved the images. Parker |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is lovely to read.. James |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
It is quite a magnanimous unfolding, isn't it? You've done an exceptional job in capturing that moment through your wonderful imagery, my friend... I really enjoyed this one.. |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Martie, This was wonderful! I was swept away with the beauty of a young woman's unfolding. Great work! David2 |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wow!!! I don't think any woman ever gets so old she doesn't remember... and you've captured that unfolding magnificently!!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Parker--so glad the images pleased you James--Thank you for reading and for your kind words Nan--yes it is, don't think anything has compared with it since... David--so glad you were swept way...a good thing I think suthern--it would seem not, thanks! |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Oh, Martie, Martie, Martie - the power with which you work your words, just continues to grow. I too, have known this feeling. Perhaps every young girl knows the moment. I would think so. I am amazed at the constantly increasing beauty of your poetry. You paint pictures with words like very few. |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Martie, Thank you for reminding me .... and I agree with most ... you keep getting better and better, and that blows me away ; as each and every time I cannot imagine it getting any better! I love this piece .... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Rosemary and Pepper--thank you both for such wonderful comments--Seems like the more I write the easier it becomes to express what I feel. Hugs! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I'll have to add this one to my "things that make me go hmmmmmm...." As I have strived through my life to understand women-- the more I think we are the same and the more I think we are different. And what a wonderful thing that we are... eh? the same, yet so different... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Rebel--Yes, the differences are a wonderful thing...thanks for the hmmmmmmm, always a good thing. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
This is too good to miss, how I remember those weeds ...I think...age you know.. You have a very unique style Martie....always making me think.. HUSG |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Rainbow---How wonderful to see you...thanks for responding, I've missed you...well, me and a bunch of other people..LOL |
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