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Open Poetry #6
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Alone Too Long
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Alone Too Long |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
Alone Too Long As winds of turmoil in a tempest toss, So too, my torments threaten to persist. I grieve in agony my lover's loss, And vainly strive this torture to resist. Another empty night of broken dreams, Obstructed love to shatter peaceful sleep, This time alone becomes a shallow stream, Of endless, painful, waking hours to keep. But pain so rich is born of love sublime, Why else would one lament so fervently? To never love would be the greater crime, And so I claim her heart most selfishly. Thus suffering precedes serenity, For love conceived in serendipity |
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| © Copyright 2000 David William La Belle - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mete out Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270england |
***David2, Yet again, a heartfelt poem, full of tangled emotion and . I loved the lines: "But pain so rich is born of love sublime, Why else would one lament so fervently?" Fantastic....  I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
This time alone becomes a shallow stream, Of endless, painful, waking hours to keep. But pain so rich is born of love sublime, Why else would one lament so fervently? To never love would be the greater crime, And so I claim her heart most selfishly. Thus suffering precedes serenity, For love conceived in serendipity ------------------ wow, David this is exceptional writing... deep emotions very well expressed. very nice, take care, jm Do you live by the book, do you play by the rules Do you care what is thought by others about you If this day is all that is promised to you Do you live for the present, the future the past... tracy chapman |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
David: Well written sonnet. I enjoyed this. Thanks. Jim |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Yes, well written sonnet, David! I too especially love those lines : 'But pain so rich is born of love sublime, Why else would one lament so fervently?' Excellent writing, David!  Denise |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
hmmmmm me thinks there's an echo in here!! but what more can l say Excellent writing David! "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
David, Never before have I seen such heartfelt words so beautifully brought forth from the soul to the paper. This is what poetry is all about! Excellent poem. I can honestly say it is one of the best things I have ever read! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
David...me things you doest like the sonnets...and you most certainly do them justice. There's a number of journals that take sonnets only you know?  Hey, you'll find I'm persistant |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
David2~ So eloquently versed. You've got a way with words, sir. Wonderful way ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
David2, Good words, good thoughts, good poem. |
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Jenna Barkley Junior Member
since 2000-03-24
Posts 16 |
David~ As winds of turmoil in a tempest toss, So too, my torments threaten to persist. I grieve in agony my lover's loss, And vainly strive this torture to resist. I am amazed by the use of words. Excellent!! ~Jen [This message has been edited by Jenna Barkley (edited 03-24-2000).] |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
David...your word play leaves me speechless...are you any relation to Shakespeare? Love these keep them coming!!!! Great work "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O,no! it is an ever-fixed mark....William Shakespeare |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I reeeeeeeeeeeeally like this, Dave... I love the couplet.... For love conceived in serendipity" You're talkin' my language here... Serendipity was my own maiden poetic venture. It's not a sonnet, but it is iambic pentameter...  [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-25-2000).] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Very nicely written. ~ Claire |
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Windrider Silverbreeze Junior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 33 |
Summer's sweet wind's carress the turmoil'd state, Tenderly soothing the hole ridden torments, Life's sweet blossom will bloom anew, Once resisting has stopped and pain has been given eternal release. Peaceful dreams with hopes aplenty, With the growing stream of paths yet unfound, Yet pain is learned, to keep in ones mind, To remember that love if right, can last for eternity. To love again, is one's largest dream, And so one gives their heart selflessly, (A heart felt responce. A lovely sonnet you've written that would capture the heart of any woman you dream. Well done David.) |
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Franni Junior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 39 |
This is a perfect sonnet and a perfect subject for a sonnet. Shakespeare would applaud. I struggle with sonnets. You are a natural. Your lines stay with me. Franni |
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