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Open Poetry #6
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Shadowland Lady........................#1
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Shadowland Lady........................#1 |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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She is real - but not really She belongs - but not quite Has a man - but then only At night. She can feel - but not fully Dwells rarely on pride Not alone - but she's lonely Inside. She's a shadow land lady; Lives well - but she lives On the baubles and crumbs That a married man gives And she thinks she is winning Doesn't know she has lost Till the day comes to add up The cost. She's a cute decoration A small porcelain doll And she lives like a taxi - On call. She's secure - but unsurely Has a house - but no home At his whim, she will wind up Alone. She's a shadow land lady Living only at night She can stay - if she stays out Of sight. And the clock keeps on ticking Days keep moving along Soon her youth and her life Will be gone. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I remember this! And it's just as good~and as sad~as ever. Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
A little different and really neat, Balladeer. Irony, sadness, truth. ~ Claire |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I love this...what writing poetry is all about. James |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Balladeer...this is an incredible piece of writing. The flow and format is wonderful  as is the content. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Love that meter! Great poem, and so true Liz |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ Absolutely wonderful. It just rolls. Lovely read aloud. Your versatility is astounding. Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She is real - but not really She belongs - but not quite Has a man - but then only At night. She can feel - but not fully Dwells rarely on pride Not alone - but she's lonely Inside. ----------------------- those first two stanzas are PERFECTION... they just grabbed me... and haunt me in a way...awesome... and the line about living on call like a Taxi...brilliant Balladeer, truly creative work in this piece...more, more more  take care, jm and you can say baby... baby can I hold you tonight maybe if told you the right words... at the right time, you'd be mine... baby can I hold you tonight... tracy chapman |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
You sure do know how to make a girl catch her breath Mike....this is exrodinary in rhyme...in meaning...ok- let's just say I loved it!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Now you have gone and bummed me out...this is loneliness amplified... |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
well you have definitely written an excellent poetic description of and sad and lonely person....sort of makes you feel sorry for her..althought maybe she doesnt realize yet Great poem Tess "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
intriguing piece Balladeer. Sucked me in with the first line and it just got better. I think I know this person... Michael |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Checking my shadow here..... It says "NO married men!!!"..... This is awesome, Deer....  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Elizabeth....thank you for remembering Claire...yes, a little of all three. Thank you. James...what a wonderful compliment. I thank you, sir. Ruth...Thank you for your extremely kind words. Liz...praise from the meter leader is always wonderful to receive Marge...You should see me juggle!! Thank you, m'dear. Janet Marie...what can I say? Comments like yours make writing much more pleasurable. Thank you. Devina...you sweet person, you! Thank you for catching your breath Serenity..Don't be bummed. She dumped him the next day and took a job at McDonalds!! Tess...Realization cames a little late for many of us. Thank you. Michael...Yep, and so do I. Thanks, friend. |
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David2 Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 407 |
This is verywell done, the structure is excellent. The subject matter is provoking. I enjoyed this a great deal. David2 |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This poem is awesome, and got me thinking about shadows which inspired me to write a poem myself about shadows. Thanks for the inspiration. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ah, sweet and sad, Balladeer, sweet and sad. Corinne |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ah..one of my favorites! Excellent as usual sir! It's nice to know I can find one of your poems from time to time..not often enough unfortunately!  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
What a look into a life...seems so sad and desperate and you have lit it so well with you poem... excellent! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very sad that some people actually live like this. Seems to be a very empty life. Great writing Balladeer. But I don't expect anything but great writing from you. Denise |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Words to a song sad people sing Balladeer's words with truth do ring |
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