Open Poetry #6 |
Faded Perfume |
Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Faded Perfume Hot summer nights Under stars with moonlight A heart in flight Taken by love’s bite He said forever But then a parting letter You should have known better Pale cheeks could be no wetter Love, you thought would bloom Brings nothing but gloom Dying alone in your tomb For love lasted as long, as faded perfume Marina Mar.12 2000 |
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© Copyright 2000 Marina Crossley - All Rights Reserved | |||
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is very sad, Marina. Beautifully done. Denise |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Marina~ The nostalgic sadness wanders through this one. Wonderful job, gal. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
I loved your last line. It sums up what sounds like "summer love" very nicely. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Indeed very sad this is. Love does all too often fade like perfume for so many.. *Krista Knutson* ~*Only when trudging through the soul's darkest midnight can one truly appreciate the glory of the sunrise*~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Marina, the haunting scent still lingers in my mind and in my soul. . . This is beautiful. . . you have indeed captured the sadness and the longing. . . Beautiful words from a beautiful poet. . . ---------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
wonderful closing to this one |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
When we first meet someone we are captivated by them and we admire so many attributes...and we might find ourselves thinking...where has this person been all my life...soon reality sets in and we might find ourselves thinking..I don't care where they were but how the heck do I get them out of my life...ha..ha..sad but true..and these were thoughts brought on by you and some faded perfume. Lovely poem and the last four lines are magic. Bring out some fresh perfume. James |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*sigh* i love this sweet sad poem Marina.... "He said forever But then a parting letter You should have known better **Pale cheeks could be no wetter" **I love that line... this was really an emotionally beautiful poem. take care, jm and you can say baby... baby can I hold you tonight maybe if told you the right words... at the right time, you'd be mine... baby can I hold you tonight... tracy chapman |
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Mel~ Junior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 16Gosford, New South Wales, Australia |
a beautiful, yet sad poem, brought me close to tears |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Marina, this was a very nice poem. I liked the way you wrapped up the ending. Nice rhyme also. Good writing as usual. A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
yes I have to agree with the others a beautiful poem and the last line says it all "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Marina, really liked this one, tragic reality of fading relationships. Parker |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Marina, Yes, I can feel the loss. It is painful when love and friendship slip away. And it is more painful to ever get it back. Great poem.... Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Denise,Marge,KitKat,Alwye: thank you all for your responses. Sven,thank you. Such a wonderful compliment from a beautiful person and poet. Ruth,thank you James,thanks and I think that unfortunitly that your right. JM,thanks I like that verse too. Mel, thanks and sorry about the tear thing! Danny,I can always count on you for such a sweet response. Thank you Tesss, thanks James,thank you. In this case it was definitly for the best. Teryy,thanks very much and welcome to Passions! |
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