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The Black Rose--Challenge #4
| Open Poetry #6 |
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The Black Rose--Challenge #4 |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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It was here that she met her death The smoke of the fire taking her last breath Sentenced by the council, a witch condemned Her life would now meet a firey end Only a girl of sixteen, her name Elizabeth Ann Destined one day to marry the town's wealthiest man But she would not get the chance at this new life For there were other girls who thought they should be his wife They met in secret, by the light of the moon Determined to have Elizabeth meet her end soon "We need to get rid of her!" They said, "How can it be done?" The answer came quickly, and thus began their twisted fun So began Elizabeth's odyssey, the Crucible brought to life Never would she know the joys of being a wife Dragged before the council, her trial began in haste Declared guilty immediately, there was no time to waste Standing here a year later, the crowd can only gasp Looks of disbelief form on those who pass How it came to be here, no one really knows But in this field of ash grows a single black rose ---------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Sven, I love this!! There is such sadness to a perfect romance, yet revenge in the end. I really like the last line. Marina |
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jazzgal Junior Member
since 2000-03-07
Posts 37 |
this is sweet, but very sad... a perfect ending indeed, i'm very glad! i like this one for sure... well done. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sven baby...this was PERFECTION... such mystic imagery and yes that last line is poetic perfection... I really enjoyed reading this. take care, jm and you can say baby... baby can I hold you tonight maybe if told you the right words... at the right time, you'd be mine... baby can I hold you tonight... tracy chapman |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Very well delivered, Sven...and an intriguing story. ~ Claire |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
I loved this sven. Story of love and jealousy and a haunting revenge. -------------- You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart Then people are gonna treat you better You're gonna find, yes you will That your beautiful as you feel.~~~ Carol King |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Sven, This is OUTSTANDING!!! A pox on all the guilty murderers. Well written in form and flow. INclan |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
love this one, Sven! Corinne |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A very interesting and intense read. Excellent writing. James |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Thank you all, my friends. . . this is the fourth of the "Member Challenges" that I opened in Poetry Challenge. . . why not go there and take a look around? Thank you all again. . . --------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow, what an excellent tale and telling...Very well done! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Your imagination has taken off in this wonderful poem. It was not I who presented the challege, but rather the other Elizabeth. Your poetry has always been romatic and full of love and now you take off into the realm of story telling. How exciting. well done Liz |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You did a very good job with this one, Sven. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I don't know what the challange was, but it seems you met it well  |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Again, thank you all. . . Elizabeth, my apologies. . . I realize now that it was not you that posted the challenge, but I'm glad that you liked it also. . . -------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nice one, Sven - This is a subject I've been intending to touch upon myself - maybe you'll give me the incentive to act on it..  |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Sven firstly thanks for the advertising This was a wonderful tale my friend, a tale, for it's more than a poem or story if you get my meaning... Bravo There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Haunting, Sven. I really liked this one though. Especially the black rose at the end. Well done!!!! Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
THANK YOU SVEN!!!!! *beaming* I loved every word of this poem. No one has ever written one for me before--I'm gonna have to print this and hang it up somewhere. Again, thank you so much--it's beautiful. Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Elizabeth, you are most welcome, I am indeed honored and humbled that you are going to print this poem. . . Thank you for the challenge, it was most welcome and enjoyed every minute of it!! ---------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Anytime Sven! Care to give me a challenge so's I can write one for you? Elizabeth "He have his goodness now. God forbid I take it from him!" -The Crucible |
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Nativetexan2 Junior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 13 |
Sven, Bravo! my man. Such a wondeful tale you tell. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
A bump and an addition to my library for this one.... |
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