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Open Poetry #6
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Brow Beaten
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Brow Beaten |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California 
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BROW BEATEN < !signature-->You show me a blue hoop I jump through tentative You pet me I melt You show me green hoop I jump through anticipate You feed me I need You show me a red hoop I jump through excited You hold me I love You show me a yellow hoop I jump through loyally You beat me I'm sad You show me a red hoop I jump through hoping You scold me I cower You show me a green hoop I jump through longing You ignore me I starve You show me a blue hoop I fear to jump You beat me I give up You show me a hoop I snarl !!! Michael Anderson For all behind was dark and drear, And all before was night and fear. How many hours of night or day In those suspended pangs I lay, I could not tell; I scarcely knew If this were human breath I drew. Lord Byron [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Well written, Michael. Very sad. No one should have to jump through those hoops. It's no way to have to live. Denise |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Michael~ This is absolutely BRILLIANT ! It's sad ... but it is sooooo true. The old 'Jump when I say jump and ask how high on the way up' routine just doesn't cut it, does it? You have penned a classic. It's already printed out. And, I quit wagging my tail !  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Okay, now this is getting weird...LOL I know this is not meant to be funny, but you'd have to be here to appreciate it. Not only did I relate to this--I took the hoop, broke it up and danced the "hula" on it.LOl. Thank you Incredible Michael, for the the incredible smile on my face, however unintentional...(I knew sparks were flying tonight but I did not think they reached all the way to California!) |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
What an excellent use of dog psychology. I found this to be very inventive and even written from a scientific view. Testing the subject and getting the Pavlovian response. Then why should they act suprised when they change the set of rewards! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
YOU show me a poem... I reply... I'll jump for a M. poem anytime  perfect poem of definace M... take care, jm Now for me some words come easy But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch You never knew what I loved in you I don't know what you loved in me Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be jackson browne |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a terrific weaving of a thought into writing! Benn there....done that. To this day I don't even like do-nuts  Excellent writing, Michael! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Well, I have to side with Janet here...all of your friends here, Michael, jump to read your poetry. The only training we've had is that each time we open one, we are mesmerized by your poetic talent. I'm glad you've decided to devote more time writing.. we are glad to read more of your work...  |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
You show me a gold hoop I jump through trip fall and break my nose I'm not very athletic Rex}<{{{{o> |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Michael - this is a sad thing you have pointed out... good work... K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
So many hoops and so many of us who have jumped through them in an attempt to please others. Very sad and well written. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~michael this poem hit home with me! i can relate to the thoughts and words you have written here. another great poem from an even better poet! i can tell this poem as all of yours are was written with a great deal of emotion and thought. i am on the side of also agreeing that it was written with a kind of scientific thought. remarkable job! Amy ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow...I didn't expect so many replies so quick. I apologize for not getting the HTML in here in time for those of you who have already gotten to this - I got a little sidetracked. Denise, indeed, it is not! Marge - I still have my tail - can't never seem to stop chasing it though, it seems! serenity, must be something in the air!!! LOL I believe the hoops are broken here as well. j - I don't know but they almost assuredly are suprised, aren't they? balladeer, sucky place to be, ain't it? LOL on the doughnuts - I only can wish i could have one of those, you know? PdV, sincerest thanks, will pen one up for you anytime. Rex - ROFL know that feeling too...LOL Severn, you got here TOO early, I hadn't put the HTML in yet...I was going to ask you for some more critique...email me if you see this. childomine - very sad. Amy, I don't know if it can be considered scientific when I consider the REAL amount of hoops I've jumped through to to finally realize this just ain't right!!! Thank you all for the kind replies - I knew many of you would be able to relate to this one. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 03-16-2000).] |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
The many hoops of life and love...This rings true to this heart Michael... And don't snarl like that...tis quite a mental picture honey!!LOL XXOO ~D Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Better be gentle with me devina, I bite!!! Michael |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Well written Michael, so sad and so true. What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Ummm...How do you always seem to be able to write my life? Though the hoop bearer tried one last time with a black hoop. I bit quite a chunk from his thigh...lol. Wonderful as always Michael. |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I used to do those hoops too sweets. *sigh* THEY SUCK! Awesome poem Mikeeeey much luv ~X~ |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Excellent analogy you used here Michael. This poem is well thought out and shows in its writing. It's hard to try to please others by being who or what they want...I gave up on that a long time ago, seems one never succeeds anyway. Nicely done here |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
(Just popping in to let you know...I ain't forgot!...Just running low on the time thang... ) |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Inventive expression of conditioned response...it's a shame it's befallen the heart, though. Wonderful work, Michael. ~ Claire |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Michael~ So this is what all the HOOPLA is about ! Love the added dimension of HTML colors. Now .... go HOOP IT UP ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Michael.. Your poem is great - but you really shouldn't be telling the girls that you bite... You're more like a soft warm puppy... Oops - Should I not tell them that???  |
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