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Open Poetry #6
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Innocence Lost
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Innocence Lost |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Innocence Lost A title so overused It is almost a cliché Often to describe rape I see it another way My life headed downhill I knew not what to do Everything was dark No one to see me through Everything I tried to do Ended with a failure Life of eternal darkness Light was unfamiliar My grades were low And I didn't even care At that point in my life All I saw was despair Everyone that I knew Voiced their indifference Unaware of my situation My actions made no sense Then one dark lonely night I reached an all time low Grabbing for a sharp object My strife would they know I carved ever so slowly The letters in my arm The pain felt so small Compared to my mental harm The word summed me up All that I had known Nothing seemed more true Than this word: Alone |
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| © Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Mistikman, Wow! This has so much feeling and so much pain. The ending came out of no where and took my breath away. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'm going to tell you only once more...this is very good..you've gotten to be a good poet while here at Passions!  |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a good poem, but a bad situation. I hope you get through this ok,and you know who to turn to whenever you need a friend! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very powerful and sad poem. Well written! Denise |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mistik~ This is very, very good. I would trust that you are far past that stage in your life. Your brilliance takes you far beyond the realm of being 'alone'. 'Unaware of my situation' Unaware is the definitive word here ... we can't 'feel' the pain of others if they mask it. We do need to be more aware of others and their feelings. How ? ASK ... dig beyond the idiosyncrasies of the person and CARE WHAT THEY THINK! Man, you've got so much going on for you ... infuse it into others around you. Reach out ... you'll find those who need your friendship. *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well done...echoing everything above! K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Butterflies_dont_cry- Thank you. I try to make the conclusions to my poems as strong as powerful, I love reading poetry that goes out with a bang, so I chose that style for my own. I am glad it had the desired effect. Poet deVine- LOL, thanks  LoveBug- This is describing an episode I had 3 years ago, not a current one. Thanks for the support anyway  dsnyder- Thank you. Marge Tindal- Beyond it? Yes. Far beyond it? Never. The title was supposed to hint at it, maybe it was too vague. When I carved into my arm, a part of my innocence was lost forever. It is one of those things that once you do it, you cant ever fully go back. The scars on my arm are there to forever remind me of how low I sunk. I can move on, but this will forever be a part of me. That one act changed me as a person forever. Severn- Thank you. Echoing my above responses then  |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Very powerful and important work, Mistikman. Keep writing it out. ~ Claire |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
sniff it did the same to me mistik yuh got me with a sharp poem to the heart (not to be whats the word o you'll think of it but yuh can i save that reply it was killer ) |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
You definately have come far since you found us Travis. This was an amazing poem and even if there are no scars on the skin there are always ones on the heart. Know we love you here and if you ever need us, we are here. Well done. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Sir, this is astounding. I can relate all too well. I think being alone is the most miserable feeling on earth. Far worse than some other things I can only try to compare it to. If there was just some way to link all the lonely people in the world together, that would probably fix everything! Then NO ONE would be alone! I have lived in a house full of people before though, and felt like I was more alone that way.....alone inside 4 walls. Just because others are around you, doesn't mean they are THERE .....You know what I mean, I'm sure. Thanks for the read, you got my wheels turning this morning. I also want to thank you for all the nice comments you've left me. I wish I could have left more comments for you too! I will do better, I promise! I'll be dropping in from time to time. Sincerely, Gennifer |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I can't say anything anyone else hasn't said about this piece. It's sad truth and well written. |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Meadowmuse- Thank you, I will. wayoutwalt- Heh, Thanks walt. I am glad my poem affected you.Marilyn- Thank you. Scars are something I know far too much about, I am afraid. Both emotional and physical I now have as evidence of my past, and neither will heal anytime soon. poetFemmeFatale- Indeed, I would rather suffer anything else, besides being alone. Having someone to lean on can help in any situation, unless the situation is the fact that you have no one to lean on and share with. You are welcome for the reply, I was happy to do it, and I meant what I said, this place just wont be the same without you. hoot_owl_rn- Thank you. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Excellent work there Mistik. The emotion is evident. I carved something in my arm once too - "F.T.W."...LOL Wonder what that stood for? Great poem michael |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Michael- Thanks for reading. I dont know how you feel about what you did, but I wish I had never carved into my arm, it brought me nothing but harm in the long run, serving as a reminder to everything wrong in my life, and people still failed to notice me. Such is life I guess... |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Hey! I got a rolly! Thanks! 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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