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Open Poetry #6
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Look here deep within my eyes, And tell me what you see. Can you see beneath my skin, To the hidden part of me? People see my competence, My strength and my smile. They see me handle anything, But not my inner child. They see a solid body frame, That easily handles pain. But can they see my weary heart, Where frailty still remains? Nothing in this six foot frame, Speaks of weakness from within. I need the shelter from the rain, Just like the small and thin. No one to stand up for me, No strong arms in which to hide. No gentle hands to handle, The soft and vulnerable side. Each time I have to brush me off, After falling down face first. My poor and wounded, lonely heart, Gets harder with the thirst. So please look deeper then my skin, Past all my little faults. Protect me from this wicked world, And all it's hurtful assaults. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mete out Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270england |
***Marilyn, You echo alot of my feelings here....it seems that most people feel like others are blind to their hurt...this is not always the case however...sometimes you need to be patient.... A fantastically writen piece. I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
What a lovely look at the child within--I know, I have one too and I found if I nurture her, she takes better care of me. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
If only everyone would judge us not by the exterior person but by the true inner person, the world would be a better place to live. Good poem! |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Good Lady Mariyn, You have always been here for me and I in turn wish to be there for you. I will never be anything less than that to you ever. This is written so well and it truly speaks of your talent. Knock and it will be opend and seek and it shall be found. Miss your cute laugh too.....  There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. Drive it like you stole it. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
mete out....Thankyou for your insight and I understand what you are saying. I love being capable and strong. Someday I would like someone to appreciate my weakness as well as my strength. Martie....I think I have forgotten how to nurture my inner child. She has been neglected for so long now. [This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 03-09-2000).] |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Hmmm between my blondness and my system hicuping...I hope I can get through the rest of this reply. Sharon...I agree completely. You can assertain much by the way someone carries themselves and how well they take care of themselves. The rest should be forgotten. David... You are a sweetie. I am fine, just needed to vent a little in this piece. Being 5'11 and female sometimes has it's disadavntages. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
this is a sweet and emotionally perfect poem, I related to your words so well, how about "The Innocent Inner Child" or "Inner Child Beneath My Skin" "Looking For The Child With In"... OR how about me shuttin up and letting you pick your own title...(smile) wonderful poem. take care,janet marie you're really alone at last... you're bored and fading fast, if it's true you'll fall from the past all you'll have to do is ask you'll feel but never be you want and always need price you pay for wanting to see will you have all you've ever dreamed... robin wilson |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Marilyn, your inner self shows in everything you post here....and it's a beautiful look at you.  |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Wow Marilyn, you described my situation incredibly well, even though you did not intend to. This is very well written, and oozing with truth. Everyone sees me as the rock of Gibralter(sp?), but fail to see what I have to deal with in my life, or just assume it doesnt phase me. Such is life I guess. |
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Compgirl Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 85USA |
INCREDIBLE how you can describe such sad feelings with such wonderful form. We can all realate much too well.. Thank you for shareing! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Marilyn~ You shine with your writing. This one is extremely well done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
Very intelligently written piece. Your explorations of your "child within" are marvelous. Bravo, Marilyn. Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. -Enigma |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This just brought a tear to my eye, Marilyn - it is lovely and one I can easily relate to though I am not tall! Well done. K'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I never realized how many people feel the same way I do. Thankyou all for your responses. I may have to do some more pondering on this. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Everyone deserves to be seen for more than what's on the exterior. Sometimes the strongest are the weakest and vice versa...it's maintaining a healthy combination of exterior and interior that presents a challenge sometimes. Nice poem |
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