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Open Poetry #6
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Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648


0 posted 2000-03-03 03:31 PM


Missing you will never
Depart from me
Still my core cries for you
To live
To be

Missing you still hurts  
So deeply within
Deep in this bottomless sea
My soul  
Still longs
To know

Your voice
Your touch
Your love

Missing you
Forever
Binds us
As one
Together

< !signature-->

 Denise

And slight is the sting of his trouble
Whose winnings are less than his worth;
For he who is honest is noble,
Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~





[This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 03-06-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
1 posted 2000-03-03 03:49 PM


Denise...this is very beautiful. It's great to see you writing free verse and very well I might add  
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2000-03-03 03:50 PM


WOW Denise, this is deeply beautiful! Loved every line!   Well Done!

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



January Flowers
Member
since 2000-02-01
Posts 209
South Carolina
3 posted 2000-03-03 04:36 PM


Presentation:  A+
Message:  even better than A+

Denise...this is wonderful. Simple, but not, which happens to be my absolute favorite kind!  Poems like this are so versitile to me, and the meaning can change with a "blink" of my mood...I really enjoyed this.  It's a keeper!

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
4 posted 2000-03-03 04:39 PM




Denise:

    A beautiful and bittersweet poem.  This piece really hit hard because I am in this situation right now.  Thanks for writing this.

Take care,
Melissa Honeybee  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-03-03 04:39 PM


Denise~
I also like the free-falling verse
of this one.
So nice read.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2000-03-03 05:37 PM


Alright Denise!  Very nicely done!
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 2000-03-03 05:40 PM


  Beautiful words Denise.  I could feel everyone of them...


Michael

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2000-03-03 07:13 PM


Intensity of emotion at its best, Denise...
Nice job, my friend..  


[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-03-2000).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2000-03-03 08:38 PM


Beautiful writing, Denise.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 2000-03-03 08:47 PM


How lovely! This really flowed! I like it.
RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
11 posted 2000-03-03 10:58 PM


very beautiful Denise.....I can feel this
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

12 posted 2000-03-03 10:59 PM


Thank you everyone! You all make me feel good about my first free verse poem! I'm glad you all liked it!  

Denise

Cypher
Junior Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 17

13 posted 2000-03-04 02:21 AM


Beautiful. Enjoyed this one a lot.  It's quite different from your usual.  Very pretty.
-Cypher

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
14 posted 2000-03-04 03:33 AM


Denise I'm in awe of you, if this is your first free verse all I can say is that YOU ROCK....

 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks

tulip
Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 320
unknown
15 posted 2000-03-04 05:11 AM


Denise,
I love this one.  You know the more deeply we love, the deeper we fall when it ends...why does it have to work that way?

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
16 posted 2000-03-04 06:28 AM


Denise this is so sad to have someone that you care for so much...their voice, their touch, and their love, and now they are gone.
I went thru a very dark period in my life when I knew that I must release someone that I was very attached to...for her sake...and for my own sanity.  I could imagine in my mind that I was holding on so tight that my claws were digging into her.  I knew that I must release her and I have...but it took me a long time to reach that place...and it was one of the hardest things I ever did but also one of the easiest.   James

Nurse Crachet
Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318
They know where I am!
17 posted 2000-03-04 06:35 AM


You did a wonderful job on this, I really like it.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
18 posted 2000-03-04 06:44 AM


Hey, Denise! Prose and free verse! WOW! You are quite the writer. And all well done. This is beautiful
Liz

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

19 posted 2000-03-04 11:03 AM


Thank you all for your lovely kind commments! I'm glad that you all liked it!  

Denise

RufffRyder
Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 143
<------Over There------>
20 posted 2000-03-04 01:37 PM


Your writings always leave me wanting to write another myself.
This is yet another great display of your talent.
Thank you for the read dsnyder

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

21 posted 2000-03-04 02:22 PM


Just beautiful, Denise. So well expressed.

~ Claire

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

22 posted 2000-03-04 05:22 PM


Thank you, RufffRyder and Claire! I'm glad you enjoyed it!  

Denise

bboog
Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303
Valencia, California
23 posted 2000-03-05 04:45 PM


Denise: I liked this poem but feel that it's missing something. A simile perhaps? For example: "deeper than outer space" or "deeper than the blackest sea"? Hope this is helpful to you.
bboog

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
24 posted 2000-03-05 05:27 PM


Poignant and beautiful, Denise!

Corinne

Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

25 posted 2000-03-06 09:39 AM


very beautiful denise...sigh
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

26 posted 2000-03-06 08:34 PM


Thank you for reading and commenting, bboog, Corinne, and Corazon! It is always appreciated! I'm glad you liked it!  

bboog-I changed it a bit, is that better?  

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
27 posted 2000-03-06 09:19 PM


Well, I'm at the end of something beautiful and all that's left to do is ditto all the wonderful comments here.  They're all true ya know!
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
28 posted 2000-03-06 09:30 PM


Denise, very beautiful, a poem with a deep connection for you. Thanks for sharing.

Parker

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

29 posted 2000-03-06 10:06 PM


Thank you, Rebecca and Parker for reading and commenting. I'm glad you liked it! Yes, Parker, a deep connection. I'm glad you could feel it!

Denise

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

30 posted 2000-03-13 04:57 AM


This is, Denise, most nicely done!

Thanks for giving me the link...hugs.

K

 'Writing sharpens life;
life enriches writing'
Sylvia Plath

First__Knight
Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678

31 posted 2000-03-13 06:12 AM


Awesome.....very moving

 There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead. Drive it like you stole it.


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

32 posted 2000-03-13 03:37 PM


Thanks Kamla, I'm so glad that the Queen of Free Verse liked this!   I'll be on the look out for your sonnet! I know it will be great!

David, thanks for your always kind words!  

Denise

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