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Open Poetry #6
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Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462


0 posted 2000-03-03 11:44 AM


Crying children, no one there,
Broken railing, on the stair,
Mother sits with vacant stare,
No food in kitchen, to prepare.

The creature waits, her teeth bared white,
Beneath the girders, of hell's night,
Pierce the skin, in pain's delight,
Feel the joy, of creature's bite.

Light's filament, is hanging bare,
Mother's there, but who knows where,
Out on the streets, car horns blare,
Who gives a damn, as if I care.

I wish I may, I wish I might,
See cockroach run, as neighbors fight,
A handgun lays, in open sight,
Come to me, no sense of fright.

Shot rings out, red matted hair,
Spattered pool, look, see skin tear,
Creature smiles, done paid her fare,
Mother dies, with vacant stare.

[This message has been edited by Mike (edited 03-03-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved
Enola
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138
England
1 posted 2000-03-03 11:58 AM


Wow.  That's a good poem, I could feel the chills running down my spine.  What was the inspiration?
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

2 posted 2000-03-03 12:27 PM


This is intense, Mike. Very well written.

Denise

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-03-03 01:36 PM


Tim, this description is intense and real I'm afraid...a view that must be hard to keep from thought when you search for peace.  Very well written, of course.
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2000-03-03 01:50 PM


Left a little speechless at the reality of this
Good work
Liz

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2000-03-03 03:19 PM


Mike, wow, this was very chilling and so very vivid. Excellent work!  

 What comes from the heart goes to the heart.
Samuel Coleridge



hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
6 posted 2000-03-03 03:53 PM


OMG....what a POWERFUL poem!!! If this doesn't make everyone step back for a moment and think...nothing will. Wonderful job on such a terrible subject!
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-03-03 09:00 PM


Mike~
Almost too vivid a portrayal.
Stark-naked horrifying reality.
I cry for us all.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
8 posted 2000-03-03 09:06 PM


If anyone could write about a horrible incident and make it so chilling in its imagery, it's you. Excellent poem, sir...terrible subject....so sad....
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