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Dharma Lennon
New Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 4

0 posted 2000-03-02 01:43 PM

This is obviously my first post and it is a bit long. i consider this one of the few i have worth reading, however. i hope you enjoy it.
--------------------------

Motheresque

i hate my strings
cut my cord, mommyesque
let me go
leave leave leave
i will breathe alone i
need need need
to bare myself again
reincarnate my being for one last time
   for today
walk with feet formed with my own
  flesh moved with my own muscle
    of my own design
energy all my own and not
your whisper forcing me to
while i obey, unawares

i tell you
No
i will go on
for now
seeing the feeling
may i breathe on Mars
lavish bath dust
then i will come home
begrudged and begrudging

but to know,
to interlock my own thoughts
bare my own idiocy
if it is who what why i am
if i bore an idiot into and as myself
than it better being my own than
  anyone else's

i suck deep dusty air
and i want to stay away
suffocate myself on my own foul sweet air

see you over my shoulder,
mangled and broken like snapped
stretched strings i tore from
you need me to breathe, too
i realize

unhook the phone and rehook myself
return to the new refound unilung

i love you and miss those ignorant days

we settle back when you twist
us tangled mass problems
hard headed and interconnected with
others i do not want to breathe with

but i am stuck with you

Go to Mars and leave us
Breathe without each other
Find your feet and freedom, too
i'll be here

i hated being attached from necessity
the more i was freed
the more attached i became
unto your respirator, Motheresque

learn your freedom
and rebare yourself, too
you cannot become a worse
fool than you already be

Miss.Queeny
Junior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 22

1 posted 2000-03-02 04:29 PM

Scary isn't it ? Your first poem ??? Anyway, that was a fantastic job. Well Done, very emotional with a good use of words. It wouldn't have been nearly as good if you cut it down.
Lovely...look forward to reading more in the future.

Love, Peace and Happines...MISS.Q xxx

Sheilan
Member

since 2000-02-29

Posts 50
Snohomish, WA

2 posted 2000-03-02 04:40 PM

I enjoyed this very much....and how well I can relate to the feeling of suffocation...
Welcome to Passions and I hope to read more from you soon.
Sheilan

Danny Holloway
Member Elite

since 2000-01-15

Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK

3 posted 2000-03-02 05:41 PM

Welcome to Passions. I find your style in this poem unique and interesting. Look forward to more of your work.

HelmutB
Senior Member

since 2000-01-06

Posts 964
Canada

4 posted 2000-03-02 09:24 PM

Intriguing style you have for sure
Well done and welcome to Passions

The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

Dharma Lennon
New Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 4

5 posted 2000-03-03 09:40 AM

I'd like to thank you all for the kind words =)

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