Open Poetry #6 |
Betrayer Of Rhyme |
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Betrayer Of Rhyme You crafted your love into poetry and each word became an extension of you reaching out to touch me. You poured your heart out in every line; making mine skip a beat with everything I read. Each syllable, every word, each line you wrote made me love you even more. You crafted your love into poetry ...then read it to someone else. Have you ever noticed That the words... "Goodbye" "I'm sorry" "I love you" Are so easy to pronounce ...Yet so hard to say ~Javan |
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© Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~hoot now this one sure is deep...i read it twice and liked it even more the second time! amazing isn't it how we honestly believe people are sincere...only to find out it was all lies. here's to moving on and forward! take care and god bless amy ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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mete out Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 270england |
Wow....the last two lines of this poem hit me like a sledgehammer...a great poem. Fantastically moving. I am not a preacher, I just speak the world as I see it. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, no kidding this is incredible, and yep, it hits harder each time you read it....such a personal thing a poem is...and then to use it for betrayal....wow...I need to take a deep breath on this one..... |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Hoot~ Wow....... this is so good! Poems are personal. This is better each time you read it! -SEA |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Beautiful and romantic and then...loved the whammy at the end--- |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Powerful words - a very poignant poem. Always admired your "upfrontness" <- is that a word?...Oh well, chalk it up to poetic license if not...LOL Michael |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Excellent poem, Hoot, with a twist. Liz |
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wildbill58 Junior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 19 |
Hoot,I hope you read this one to me. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Brilliant Ruth. I hope it hits who it was intended for as hard as it hit the rest of us. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Hoot~ I like the way you 'crafted' this poem ... and then 'tweeked' it at the end. You continue to mesmerize. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent! I love the premise here.. |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
And crafted very sad, but beautifully. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very clever writing, Ruth I guess that's why they were called wandering minstrels |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Wow...strong words Ruthy... Well done. K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Cypher Junior Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 17 |
Clever poem hoot, I liked the twist at the end. -Cypher |
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Cypher Junior Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 17 |
Clever poem hoot, I liked the twist at the end. -Cypher |
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eyesplus2 Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 163australia |
ahh how sad......love found and lost....we have all been there thats for sure....a very nice poem straight from the heart. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
O.K. Hoot Owl whats this all about? Its cool, I really don't need to know unless you want to tell me, and if you do you will. Now back to the poem. This is a sad story and we should be writing happy poems (laugh). Sorry, hon I'm in one of my crazy moods but my head is clear enough to tell you I think this poem is nicely written and I can only hope for better for you. Take care James |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wow... and ouch! *S* This is fantastic, Hoot! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
My God, Ruth, words cannot express the impact that your poem has had on me. Your poems are always so brilliant. I had to re-read this poem many times, just because it is truly that good. I even printed out the poem, it has moved me in such a way that I can't even begin to explain, maybe because I can really relate to your poem. As always you have crafted a masterpiece. I only wish that I could be as talented as you. But, then again, no I don't because no one could ever be as talented as you, you are so unique, and kind too. Applause for Ruth! The last stanza, "you crafted your love into poetry the read it to someone else" just tugged at my heart, this is an excellent and bittersweet twist that ends your poem brilliantly. You are an amazing poet. Okay, enough rambling, us women talk too much huh? LOL Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thank you everyone for all your kind words about this piece James...I really didn't think this was that hard to understand. It's about a lover who finds another after pledging his love. Melissa....you flatter me girl. Wow, what can I say, I'm overwhelmed by your comments...and blushing here. Thank you |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
Lovely poem hoot, with such a sad ending. When things happen like this it is so hard to believe things that are told to us again. But there is someone out there we can trust. Hopefully he will come around soon. -------------- You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart Then people are gonna treat you better You're gonna find, yes you will That your beautiful as you feel.~~~ Carol King |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
WOW!! This is wonderful, Ruth! What an ending, too! Your writing is always excellent! Denise |
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Lynn Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 316Jasper, Alabama U.S.A. |
Great poem Hoot. If time cannot heal your pain, you can always cry on my shoulder. ~Jenn~ |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Hoot, This an emotionally ironic poem, straight forward and nicely written. "...no single sound too rude Upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." --Edgar Allan Poe (from Serenade) |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Ouch! I felt that slap at the end. I hope "he" does too. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
OWWW! A finer point could not be made. Excellent writing Lady Hoot. You'll forgive me if I've missed so many of your latest postings. Been playing around in the 'Stute don't cha know. I hope all is well with you these days. As always, I bow to you and yours. |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Short, sweet and at the end to the point. I guess you said it clearly. Well done Hugs and love The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Once more...thank you everyone for reading my work and always for the kind and generous comments you make |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The real world certainly does throw us some curves, doesn't it?... Nicely done, hoot.. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Hoot, I must agree with everybody else, a gem of a poem, and a great twist. Parker |
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