Open Poetry #6 |
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A Happy Poem(looks can be decieving) |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
After so many poems of heartache and of pain I figured it was time for me to explain For I have been going through a life quite hard And scribing the story as if I were a bard I have spoken many times of my loss Things that had left me nothing but cross Things such as love thrown asunder Due to one of my horrible blunders I have written of my difficult childhood Living a life that no child should Receiving my fathers irrational rage At such an innocent young age I have scribed of my grandmother's death Where she lost hope and breathed her last breath She left this world altogether too soon Late in the darkness with only light of the moon I have uttered of my endless depression Speaking with truth and lack of discretion I have spoken of horrors such as suicide Because in you I chose to confide Now I guess I should speak of something happy Something joyful and hopelessly sappy But I hope you all don't consider me rude Because after all this I am not in the mood |
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© Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
bobbycat Member
since 2000-02-06
Posts 233USA |
On one hand, this poem makes me sad to think of all the things you've had to deal with in your life....but on the other hand, the last line brought a smile to my face and caused me to chuckle....please don't think me rude; I thought it was a great way to end this poem! Excellent work! ![]() ![]() Bobbycat =^..^= ~~Blessed Be!~~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I too liked the poem..and whether you intended it this way or not, you achieved your goal...you made me smile! Good job! ![]() |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
Ya know, I was feeling it and I was there, but the last lines, made me literally drop my head in disappointment for you. You really had me rooting for you and then, it seems you saddened me. But, you did get my attention all the way through, and got my emotion hyped up, and therefore I REALLY admire you for this poem. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Mystik... write about what YOU want to write about..., write for your self...what you feel...and write to heal... all I know is what ever you write you touch us. take care, janet marie Now for me some words come easy But I know that they don't mean that much Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch You never knew what I loved in you I don't know what you loved in me Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be... Jackson Browne *I miss you baby... I love you...always. |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
bobbycat- heh, thanks ![]() Poet deVine- Again, thank you ![]() ![]() ![]() sonjes- Well, I am glad that you enjoyed the poem, despite the minor emotional rollercoaster I put you on ![]() Janet Marie- Oh, I do ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
You know...this was a great poem and it had so much feeling (as does many of your others), but anyway...You put alot of heart and emotion into your poems and that's what makes them so great...But then again there is also the fact that there so far has not been any happiness in your life and if there has, there is more sadness than happiness so the happiness is basically overidden by the sadness and sorrow. I feel ur pain and sorrow Mistik and I give u a HUGE HUG!!!! Cheer up...some day...you will find enough happiness to make up for all the sorrow that you have felt.< !signature--> "Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me! [This message has been edited by chic (edited 03-02-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, it is incredible this place, these poets and readers with whom we are able to share our sorrow, and our smiles...am glad that you found us, and that you share...and I hope your writing helps you find a healing...so many of us here are writing for the same reasons...great poem |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I liked the message here. Sometimes I'm happy and sometimes I'm sad. I write where my heart takes me and hopefully my heart will take me to happiness a little more often and stay there longer and longer. James |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
chic- Thank you. There has been happiness in my life, but it seems to be few and far between all the pain I have had to feel. Thanks for the hug ![]() Corazon- Aye, I know what you mean. I dont know what I would have done if I had not found this place. You have all become a family of sorts for me. A place and people I can come to when I need some help, or just to be noticed. Thank you all, every last one of you ![]() jmlee12345- Thank you. I find if I try to write about something different than how I feel it comes out really bad. I have to be true to my heart, or I can not write. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Yep, I agree. This is sad that all this has happened, but I too had to giggle at the end. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very clever writing. I enjoyed the way you ended this. I, too, am sorry for your pain. Denise |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Great poem.... feel free to vent any kind of emotions here, we are all friends. HUGS |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
WhtDove & dsnyder- Thank you tracie66- Oh, I do ![]() ![]() |
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christies heart Member
since 1999-08-10
Posts 189NJ, USA |
This was a wonderful poem,not to mention it echoed so many of my thoughts as of late. The last line did not make me laugh at all. I am wondering now if that how it was intened. I saw it as clearly wrapping up much of the point. It is not only sad that you have experienced so much pain, but tragic. I speak from empathy and not sympathy. So from the same place, I say try to use such adversity to build strenth. That's all I can try to do, and the only sense I can make out of such issues. In anycase, It was a wonderful poem. Grant that I may not judge my niegbor until I have walked a mile in his moccasians Native American prayer |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I think you're lucky to have such a form of expression to deal with it all - so use it, and don't worry about what anyone thinks - truly, just write from your heart. Great work. ![]() 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
christies heart- I guess its all in the way you read the poem, or your mindset at the time. Whatever way you interpreted it, thank you. Whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. Severn- Thank you, I am, and I do ![]() |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
This is a great poem ![]() |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Sharing your feelings in such a talented way, is an encouragement to others. Thanks for sharing. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Personally, I think poets should write for themselves and, if others like it, so much the better. |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
hoot_owl_rn- Why thank you ![]() ![]() a sandgrain- Your welcome, and thank you for reading ![]() Balladeer- I write for myself first, but once its written I have an unstoppable urge to show it off to others ![]() |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
LOL - I like your honesty... ![]() 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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