»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #6
»
the tired in you
| Open Poetry #6 |
|
the tired in you |
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
|
-the tired in you- Your eyes are dull, fragile glass; The shine long since worn, gone. I sympathize with the tired in you, The way your voice cracks sung notes. I can hear every splinter of melody Showing more than any diva could. I'm glad you sang though you could barely stand; Now you deserve a rest. Away from the lights pouring heat. Poring eyes over every pore. The ribbons in your hair came loose, Dried by fame's electric glare. Please, girl, take a seat. Drop the wrapped bouquets (after all, they're just petals with no bike to take you anywhere, stems, deceptive beauty). I tell you, just the way you open your mouth Makes beauty seem an almost obscene gesture. If it weren't so gentle, I'd be scared of what you could do. Careworn and scarred, at least we flew; And we didn't crash into any brambles or diamonds On our way down. I think I love you, But I'm old enough to realize we're just clouds. I understand your need to sleep, The time alone with your hope and dreams. I know the tired in you. I'll leave you to your needs. Goodbye, girl. You never knew me. Goodnight, love. I'm tired, too. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
tulip Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 320unknown |
Bsquirrel, How sad... |
||
|
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Good writing, Mike. Really intriguing. ~ Claire |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
How I wish i had something clever to say to this--but it made me a bit uncomfortable...naked or something... So then,( serenity grins), this MUST be good work...absolutely... |
||
|
Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, its just incredible the way you say things...and yep, I know just what you mean...I am tired too....sigh |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, everyone. Mike |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yes, I know.  |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Very sad stuff here Mike  |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
p.s. (though there's no body to the letter), I know I'm definitely tired right now. Thanks for reading. hoot, It's sad, but there's also sort of a quiet hope and final understanding. Actually, that's probably what makes it sad. Thank you, too, for reading. Mike |
||
|
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Mike you write with such grace and emotion, this was truly wonderful but a little sad... Thanks for sharing it  Keep all the windows of your mind open Anne Rooks |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I think this may be one of my favorites of yours Mike! It does have a melancholy feel to it, but I also sense personal strength in it as well! Well done! Denise |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I really liked the feel of this, it seemed so honest yet loving, sad but sweet...oh, I don't know...I just liked it! |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
tracie66, And thank you for reading it. back atcha I appreciate your comments.Denise, Thank you. This was obviously easier to reply to than "losing our minds in style." Thanks for not giving up.j/k Martie, I'm glad you enjoyed. I had fun writing it (at work, during a nothing-to-do stretch). Mike |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
The title just drew me - and I loved this poem...wonderful expression here... 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, severn. You know, for the longest time I thought that blue butterfly was a pair of slippers. Are my eyes already going? Or maybe it's just the tired in me? Mike |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Absolutely hysterical here.... Thankyou for giving me quite a new perspective on my little icon...  I guess you could see that...?? Clicking submit with a broad grin...! |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
This is very interesting and descriptive. I checked out Severns butterfly and it does look like a pair of upsidedown blue slippers, for sure. Or maybe I'm tired too.(laugh) James |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
