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Open Poetry #6
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The Case of the Five and Dimer Rhymer......#1
| Open Poetry #6 |
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The Case of the Five and Dimer Rhymer......#1 |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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Just bringing this one out of the mothballs 'cause it was one of the first in the Balladeer-Toerag wars and I need to rile that sucker into getting back here!!! I still recall that London fog roll down the street that night Back in the spring of '93, if my mind serves me right. Good Mr. Holmes, my trusted friend, had called me to his place. I didn't know that it would be for Sherlock's final case. "Ah, Witless!", Holmes called out to me - his customary greet As I walked in from out the chill of foggy Baker Street. "A curious case has come my way and I'm forced to depend On cunning, wits, intelligence - and you, my trusted friend." "You know, of course, of Long John. He's the butcherer of words Who writes the most pathetic rhymes the world has ever heard. There is a ransom on his head for murdering pure verse But I've been hired to find a fiend who writes poems ten times worse!" "Dear Holmes!", I finally blurted out, unable to resist, "You know that Long John tops the twenty Most Unwanted list. No man alive can write that bad and not remain in jail. Should you accept this duty, Holmes, you're surely bound to fail!" But nothing that I said - no threats - no questions that I asked Were able to convince Holmes to avoid this futile task. So, off we went, in still of night through foggy London town To find a poet worse than John and hunt that creature down. We asked the hoboes on the streets but they just simply laughed. We asked the patrons of the pubs who all replied, "You're daft!!" We checked the sewers - alleys, too.The hunt went on 'till dawn But we could not find anyone who wrote as bad as John. The opium dens we checked. We even crashed an all-night party Hosted by that evil fiend, Professor Moriarty. But all our hunts were fruitless. Sherlock ranted, raved and cursed For every fact uncovered proved that Long John was the worst. "Dear Holmes", I cried, "please let it go. This hunt cannot go on. There simply is no one alive who writes worse than Long John." But Holmes would not abandon ship. He simply walked away And legend says he hunts on still until this very day. Years later, I discovered that my friend Holmes had been right! For, in a pub across town, on that same cold London night The fiend he sought was saying,"Folks, now I don't mean to brag But I'm the greatest poet born. My friends call me Toerag......." |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
ROFLMAO ...  I do remember this ... and hope it brings the wars back ... I think we all miss them alot !!!!! |
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Shelley Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263Ohio, USA |
There is more like this?? Well I know what I will be doing today. This is great!! I hope this will bring Toerag back around. It sounds quite interesting, this war you were talking about. Were the writing pretty much like this piece? And what started it? I really did enjoy this!! |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
This ought to do the trick! Hilarious, Balladeer! Corinne |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thanks, Pepper, for remembering. Corinne...thank you. I hope so Shelley...was there a war? Is a frog waterproof? Would a cow lick Lot's wife? Yes, there was, as evil and vicious as anything you ever saw. You see, we were just a small, happy group here at Passions enjoying each other's company and poetry and then this TOERAG comes in on an evil wind one day, along with his sidekick LngJohn, with plans to overtake and lay ruin to the site. They even brought along a small, select army consisting of Suthern, Iloveit, Lorelie, Rainbow girl, just to mention a few. Anyway, there was only one obstacle in their way....Balladeer. They began to devise ways to eliminate me. There was talk of smashing fingers, breaking arms and kidnapping. I was finally forced to shed my normal sweet, kind demeanor and confront them. WAR had begun. Poems, like bullets, flew from one side to the other. Since it was a battle of wits, Toerag was only half-armed! Along with my trusty sidekick Poetwheel, long since deceased, and later the noble Sir Andrew Scott we set out to defeat the evil forces of Toerag/LongJhn. They were formidable foes, however, and the war took many turns. Now the members of his original group have become solid pillars of Passions, LongJhn has been reduced to feline homicide and Toerag is in hiding. .....or is he just reloading? With Toerag, you never know...... [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 02-27-2000).] |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
I didn't know he is gone I guess an e-mail is in order here Your poem.....what a poem that is cheer and enjoyment, it should work you would think Thank you, you made my day The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I, of course, have dedicated myself to protecting our poor Deer from the maligning motley who moved their muses to live among us...  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, This was before my time, but I truly enjoyed the read. I hope he returnes soon. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Aw, Nan... get out of the way and let us deliver his just rewards! LOL Hmmmmm, Balladeer... digging through that recycle bin, hunh? LOL. Better watch out... your rear sticking up in the air presents an interesting target! LOL I do remember you seemed to shed your "normal sweet, kind demeanor" in less than a nanosecond! *G* |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Helmut....making your day is always reward enough. Thank you. Nan...I always feel safer wrapped in your cloak of invincibility! Sy...I'll fill you in on the early battles  Suthern girl...yes, it does present an interesting target. Pucker up!  There! You see what kind of people Toe brought in!!! Well, at least he did something right! |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
This was great Balladeer, I'd love to see the 'war' rehashed too May the world hug you today, With it's warmth and love. I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart, That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world, Wishing you well and wishing you love...... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A blast from the past!! I enjoyed it just as much this time as I did the first time I read it! If this doesn't bring the 'wars' back nothing will!!  Denise |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
ALRIGHT BALLADEER! Let the wars begin!! I'm so glad you brought this out! I needed this ROFLMBO! Love that story up there too! hahahahah LOLOL |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Guess I joined when the guns were still smoking and I enjoyed every bit of it, but can't remember reading this one. What a prompter! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
ROFL...good one Balladeer  ) |
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