Open Poetry #6 |
birdfall |
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
-birdfall- I watched a goose move off the water, Foot like a well-formed branch extended, Pushing away the images in the glass surface, Leaving an imprint of shadow slowly dissolving. The bird made it about twenty feet into the air, A few droplets of water falling free like stars Made into gems made into little cushions Of padded, roving light. Then, suddenly, something inside it gave up, Or gave out. It fell, silently, the sounds of the city Around it intensifying. I watched its fall; there was no corkscrew, no Feathers dislodged. No face to attach Any bit of tragedy to. Oh, those black eyes. As it hit the water, went under, came back up The clouds on the surface of the pond rippled, A few feathers spun slowly free, And I watched for a long time, Smiling at the beauty and the rippling images Of sky coursing like a curtain in the breeze. |
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© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
~B This is beautiful! We have a lake near my house and sometimes I like to go and watch the birds. Think I will do that today! Thanks for sharing the poem and giving me a great idea for a beautiful Saturday. AMY ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~ |
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RufffRyder Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 143<------Over There------> |
This remind`s me of the fall`s that many people take everyday. Nice read bsquirrel |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Aimster, Glad my poem made you want to experience something in real life. That's always a great compliment. Thanks. RR, Yeah, it's about falling, but also about the beauty such a fall can cause (whether human or not). I'm glad you enjoyed. Mike |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Mike, your symbolism here is grand. And your descriptions in this piece are like tiny treasures, each wrapped carefully in emerald satin, appointed just so, for the reader to unwrap and savor bit by bit... I watched a goose move off the water, Foot like a well-formed branch extended, Pushing away the images in the glass surface, Leaving an imprint of shadow slowly dissolving. The bird made it about twenty feet into the air, A few droplets of water falling free like stars Made into gems made into little cushions Of padded, roving light. Then, suddenly, something inside it gave up, Or gave out. It fell, silently, the sounds of the city Around it intensifying. I watched its fall, there was no corkscrew, no Feathers dislodged. No face to attach Any bit of tragedy to. Oh, those black eyes. As it hit the water, went under, came back up The clouds on the surface of the pond rippled, A few feathers spun slowly free, And I watched for a long time, Smiling at the beauty and the rippling images Of sky coursing like a curtain in the breeze. The title is an excellent image inducer, as well. I like this piece very much. Claire |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Wow, thanks Claire. What else can I say? M. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is just so profound, "b",--what an incredible talent you have. Had more to say, but claire said it all. Another for my book, if ya don't mind...i guess if i keep this up, i'll have to start calling it YOUR book... |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ I liked it also. The descriptive phrases certainly lend credibility to the images. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Your imagery is remarkable! I thought the poor thing died. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
serenity, Cool, with your help, I'm already getting a book published! Glad you liked it. Marge, Thanks for reading, and also glad you enjoyed. WhtDove, And glad you enjoyed, too. It did die -- but even then, we can find beauty. And all it takes is actually seeing. Thanks for reading. Mike |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
The imagery in this is fantastic...I took that last flight along with the brid and watched as it dropped from the sky.....smiles..you know, only a poet could find beauty in something like the death of a bird Wonderfully written poem |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, hoot. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and thanks for the compliment. I definitely appreciate it. Mike |
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