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Open Poetry #6
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2000-02-26 01:57 PM


-birdfall-
I watched a goose move off the water,
Foot like a well-formed branch extended,
Pushing away the images in the glass surface,
Leaving an imprint of shadow slowly dissolving.

The bird made it about twenty feet into the air,
A few droplets of water falling free like stars
Made into gems made into little cushions
Of padded, roving light.

Then, suddenly, something inside it gave up,
Or gave out. It fell, silently, the sounds of the city
Around it intensifying.

I watched its fall; there was no corkscrew, no
Feathers dislodged. No face to attach
Any bit of tragedy to.
Oh, those black eyes.

As it hit the water, went under, came back up
The clouds on the surface of the pond rippled,
A few feathers spun slowly free,
And I watched for a long time,
Smiling at the beauty and the rippling images
Of sky coursing like a curtain in the breeze.


© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
1 posted 2000-02-26 02:01 PM


~B

This is beautiful! We have a lake near my house and sometimes I like to go and watch the birds. Think I will do that today! Thanks for sharing the poem and giving me a great idea for a beautiful Saturday.

AMY      

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

RufffRyder
Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 143
<------Over There------>
2 posted 2000-02-26 02:01 PM


This remind`s me of the fall`s that many people take everyday.
Nice read bsquirrel

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2000-02-26 02:08 PM


Aimster,
Glad my poem made you want to experience something in real life. That's always a great compliment. Thanks.

RR,
Yeah, it's about falling, but also about the beauty such a fall can cause (whether human or not). I'm glad you enjoyed.

Mike

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

4 posted 2000-02-26 02:35 PM


Mike, your symbolism here is grand. And your descriptions in this piece are like tiny treasures, each wrapped carefully in emerald satin, appointed just so, for the reader to unwrap and savor bit by bit...

I watched a goose move off the water,
Foot like a well-formed branch extended,
Pushing away the images in the glass surface,
Leaving an imprint of shadow slowly dissolving.

The bird made it about twenty feet into the air,
A few droplets of water falling free like stars
Made into gems made into little cushions
Of padded, roving light.


Then, suddenly, something inside it gave up,
Or gave out. It fell, silently, the sounds of the city
Around it intensifying.

I watched its fall, there was no corkscrew, no
Feathers dislodged. No face to attach
Any bit of tragedy to.
Oh, those black eyes.

As it hit the water, went under, came back up
The clouds on the surface of the pond rippled,
A few feathers spun slowly free,
And I watched for a long time,
Smiling at the beauty and the rippling images
Of sky coursing like a curtain in the breeze.



The title is an excellent image inducer, as well. I like this piece very much.

Claire



bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2000-02-26 02:40 PM


Wow, thanks Claire. What else can I say?

M.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2000-02-26 10:14 PM


This is just so profound, "b",--what an incredible talent you have.  Had more to say,
but claire said it all.  Another for my book,
if ya don't mind...i guess if i keep this up,
i'll have to start calling it YOUR book...

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-02-26 11:49 PM


Mike~
I liked it also.
The descriptive phrases certainly
lend credibility to the images.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
8 posted 2000-02-27 12:09 PM


Your imagery is remarkable! I thought the poor thing died.
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

9 posted 2000-02-27 03:51 AM


serenity,
Cool, with your help, I'm already getting a book published!   Glad you liked it.

Marge,
Thanks for reading, and also glad you enjoyed.

WhtDove,
And glad you enjoyed, too. It did die -- but even then, we can find beauty. And all it takes is actually seeing.   Thanks for reading.

Mike

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
10 posted 2000-02-27 04:08 AM


The imagery in this is fantastic...I took that last flight along with the brid and watched as it dropped from the sky.....smiles..you know, only a poet could find beauty in something like the death of a bird Wonderfully written poem  
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2000-02-28 01:28 AM


Thanks, hoot. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and thanks for the compliment.   I definitely appreciate it.

Mike

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