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My Second Post
| Open Poetry #5 |
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My Second Post |
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edgar_derby New Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 9Edmonton, Alberta, Canada |
Girls Insidious and badly dressed, They hover round in covens. When only 30 years ago They were slaving over ovens. “As young as five or six,” you say “Oh no that can’t just can’t be.” But they lure them with make up kits And Barbies who can ski. These “women” as they call themselves Can stay away from us, Cause underneath those sexy skirts They’re armed and dangerous. We’ve contacted the FBI, Here’s what they have to say: “They only way to stop them Is to steal their hairspray.” They say that men are “tools” Only good for procreation. Then maybe they should break away And start up their own nation. Womanistan they could call it, And hold a plevicite To form a constitution And outlaw cellulite. When the population dwindles, Due to their anatomy, Then I know they’ll learn to deal With in-eq-ual-it-y. The moral of this story honey, Now pay attention dear, Don’t be getting no ideas Just go get me a beer. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Humorous, but also tainted with misogyny. It reminds me of a Beastie Boys song by the same name -- though theirs' is more good-natured ... sort of. Though I can't really speak on the subject matter in glowing terms (if you wrote this as sarcasm or irony, it went past me), I can say you're good at setting up rhymes. One question though: what the heck does plevicite mean? Mike, searching for his dictionary (keep writing) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
One more thing to add. On second and third readings, this really starts to lose its humor. Maybe it's just me, but some of the attacks in this poem are just as true for men (especially the one about women dwindling because of their anatomy). Again, if you're trying for irony or humor, you need a certain detachedness. No offense, but the way you wrote it, it seems like you believe it. 'K, I'm off my soapbox for the evening. Mike |
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edgar_derby New Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 9Edmonton, Alberta, Canada |
Am I allowed to reply to my own stuff? I just wanted to put up a little disclaimer: This poem was written to be read aloud to my high school english class in which i was the only male. it was only a joke. thats it. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ah, high school! Say no more.  Mike I meant what I said before, by the way. Keep writing. That's the only way you'll know what you possess. |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
Ah something for the mens club. It was cute and funny and a little bit true. But hey-get your own beer. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
High School?! Hey....you ain't even old enough to drink! There will be no beer for you, dear boy!!! Clever poem, btw...what did the girls in your class think?! Denise |
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