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Shrinking Violet
Junior Member

since 1999-12-20

Posts 35

0 posted 2000-01-11 12:27 PM

I navigate waves of pillows
            and quilt
And pull erect when blood flow
            holds my head still.
A posthumous ache
Nudges me through grasses
            that used to part
            like freshly washed hair
When we walked through,
            fingers woven.
I think how it was when we danced
            your hand spread wide
            across my back
            like a second spine.

You sent a message
            of butterfly weeds and anemones
            the day you left,
            so I let you go.
I was forsaken.

I stop to smell the roses
But the roses lately die.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

1 posted 2000-01-11 12:34 PM

Where'd you learn how to use words so well? Impossible question to answer, I'm sure. Still -- this is great poetry. I loved how your words, with seemingly disparate concepts at points, just flowed and flowed and flowed. All the images interlocked; and even though there was a touch of bitterness (sort of), at the end, the real message I got from that poem was one of beauty and great hope. I wish I were at that point; I'm still stinging. Oh well, when I'm older, I s'pose.

Mike

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2000-01-11 01:46 AM

Marvelous!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2000-01-11 07:18 AM

Wonderful !
Enjoyed this a lot.
~*Marge*~

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

4 posted 2000-01-11 08:51 AM

Very nice

Sally S.
Senior Member

since 1999-06-07

Posts 847
Ohio

5 posted 2000-01-11 10:08 AM

~sigh~ Sadness abound!
This was well written and I enjoyed the read...even the sadness. Well done.

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-01-11 02:03 PM

This is so well done! I enjoyed this very much!

Denise

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

7 posted 2000-01-11 02:16 PM

The roses may die but the violet stands tall. This is finely crafted and very well-written...peace, quiet, frustration, longing and regret all wrapped up in a neat, tidy ball. Well done, red dress.

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

8 posted 2000-01-11 09:18 PM

Bal said it all, so I'll echo him..

HUGS

Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn.

Shrinking Violet
Junior Member

since 1999-12-20

Posts 35

9 posted 2000-01-11 11:17 PM

bsquirrel - Thank you for your fine praise and critique of my poem. As to the stinging:
time will take care of that. Sounds trite but not everything trite should be disregarded. Just don't include it in a poem.

Poet deVine  )   I appreciate your taking
Marge Tindal )  the time to say such good
hoot-owl-rn    )  things about my work. If
dsnyder         )  you don't watch out, I'll
Rainbow Girl )  present you with more.

Dear Deer - Such a summation of the quality of my work is making me glow more than my red dress. Many thanks.

kitkat
Senior Member

since 2000-01-11

Posts 878
Nova Scotia

10 posted 2000-01-12 12:58 PM

I liked this very much. It sounded like a bittersweet love.

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