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Open Poetry #5
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Just a Peek
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Just a Peek |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida 
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I’m on the inside of my life, looking out to where I want to be And through the dust and cob-webs, I can see what’s surrounding me A dirty room in faded hues – of reds, and blues, and greens The reminiscent colors of a once lively ‘me’ - past’s golden sheen Through the milky window glass, those closest live their lives And every now and then a stranger nears – then quickly passes by I gaze at the entire splendor with a cataract-covered mind’s eye Wondering what I did that clipped my wings from freely soaring flight The window is a looming burden, weighing ten hundred tons or more And sometimes I can pry it open, but never quite as wide as before I’ll reach my hand out to my friends as they gaily play upon the shore But just the tiniest of slaps sends it back – beaten, bloodied, and sore Crying with frustration, I’ll try the door that leads outside Kicking, wading through the cluttered junk, casting all caution aside I’ll grab the handle, and can turn the knob…but the door won’t even slide A box in front of the door blocks it shut – which I’ve carefully labeled ‘Pride’ So, in my self-contained prison I stay, muddling through the days And continue to see the world outside my life’s greasy, dirty haze Quietly basking in the jaundiced sun’s muted yellow rays That is the cost eternal shyness and reclusiveness repays May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved | |||
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
A line from a Zeppelin tune strikes me dear friend, "Though there are two paths you can go by, in the long run there's still time to change the road you're on." It fits, I hope you take that simple advice to heart because you of all people do not derserve to be alone nor lonely. Excellent verse, btw Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Satiate, Excellent verse, you paint with a full palette. Really enjoyed the read. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Such sadness...I have to agree with Dream on this one. The last verse really got me, Satiate. Well written - and I hope that one day you don't have to write about this anymore. K |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Thanks for the url, Satiate. I must say that I am getting more impressed with your latent poetic talent. Seems like Emily was able to hog-tie John long enough for you to start and finish this one...with wonderful results. Now, if only I could do some writing while I was at work...  Alicat the Persnikitty As I sit here dimly thinking Watching modem lights a-blinking Churning out poetic hash. Lord, in all Your piety, Help me keep my sanity: Please don't let the modem crash! --Alicat |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Well written Satiate. My thought is this; That box marked pride that blocks the door needs to be looked through. There are times in our lives when we need to open that box and re-examine the contents just to be sure what is there belongs. Thankyou for this little peek into your view. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Very well written. Enjoyed. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very painful. And well done. Denise |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Scott Advice from a friend is always welcome, thank you Seymour Coming from such a masterful poet as yourself, what a compliment...many thanks Kamla Thank you very much Ali The trick is trying to either learn to write with a big white glove on and looking through a visor, or getting really good at taking your monkey suit on and off. Marilyn Yes, you're quite right...might need to take a look in that box Mike & Denise Thank you for the read [This message has been edited by Satiate (edited 01-11-2000).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is written very well. I can see you looking hard at the person shut inside, wanting to fly is the beginning of the flight. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I can feel the emotions in this one loud and clear |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
"The window is a looming burden, weighing ten hundred tons or more And sometimes I can pry it open, but never quite as wide as before I’ll reach my hand out to my friends as they gaily play upon the shore But just the tiniest of slaps sends it back – beaten, bloodied, and sore" Powerful! HUGS Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Clapping applause! Well come my friend, written with charm style, and a heart hidden in the fold of security! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey - I missed this the first time around - I'm glad Christopher brought it back for another lap - I really enjoyed it...  |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Satiate Crying with frustration, I’ll try the door that leads outside Kicking, wading through the cluttered junk, casting all caution aside I’ll grab the handle, and can turn the knob…but the door won’t even slide A box in front of the door blocks it shut – which I’ve carefully labeled ‘Pride’ This is soooo good! What I find so hard to understand, though, is how a poet like you can ever be contained within such a dimly lit room. Your friends standing outside do bask in the light - your light! From the outside, the rest of us see a room with windows, and lights beam from those windows like from a lighthouse. Look at that smile in your picture - if that is not radiance, then I need to revamp my vocabulary. Come out of your room if you must, but please leave the lights on. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is so sad , Very well written , A great poem I enjoyed the read very much |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I remember that room, you describe it so accurately. Very well written Liz |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Very well said, I seem to ahvea room or two just like that. Maybe I should go throw out some of those unwated boxes...what do ya think? ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
So, in my self-contained prison I stay, muddling through the days And continue to see the world outside my life’s greasy, dirty haze Quietly basking in the jaundiced sun’s muted yellow rays That is the cost eternal shyness and reclusiveness repays Satiate, I really loved this passage. As long as there is but one person who cares about you...you're never alone! Jenny |
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