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Open Poetry #5

another iron in the fire

Tramp Poet
Senior Member

since 2000-01-06

Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

0 posted 2000-01-07 04:46 AM

Smolder

Smolder like deepest coals, she does
liquid fire dancing from crystal eyes.
Smile flashing with promise of warm lace
laughter...like virgin waterfall.

Smolder like dampest dreams, she does
awaken... aching, hour after hour.
Dreams of her skin, frozen scent
bolting straight awake, totally awake.

Smolder like terminal disease, she does
her memory haunting, no... possessing.
Her touch burning with chilling promise
a glance, then falling, forever in her spell.

Smolder like deepest coals, she does
oh... yes... she does
liquid fire dancing from crystal eyes.
Smile flashing with promise of warm lace
laughter...as another one captured.

DJBurt
Wendy Isle
(Copyright reserved 10/99)

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 2000-01-07 05:10 AM

Fine work here - excellent use of repetition.
I find this to be an interesting line:

Smolder like terminal disease, she does
her memory haunting, no... possessing.

'...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath

PhaerieChild
Senior Member

since 1999-08-30

Posts 1787
Aloha, Oregon

2 posted 2000-01-08 02:28 AM

I remember this one well dear brother. Excellent choice to post.

Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream.

Shawna R. Holder
Boise, Idaho

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

3 posted 2000-01-08 08:44 AM

Very, very nicely done. I agree with Severn, the repetition really adds to this piece. Welcome to passions...looking forward to more

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

4 posted 2000-01-08 09:57 AM

Intriguing, unusual and strong, this carefully worded piece really caught me.

Tramp Poet
Senior Member

since 2000-01-06

Posts 754
Could Be Anywhere...

5 posted 2000-01-09 12:57 PM

Thank you all for your kindness...b

there is only one...
Romans 10:9-10

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