»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #5
»
To Love Again (Written with my dear friend Marilyn)
| Open Poetry #5 |
|
To Love Again (Written with my dear friend Marilyn) |
|
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
|
To Love Again (Written with Marilyn) A shattered heart can never love again, Or so that’s what I tried to tell myself. At times it's hard to not look where you've been, Loss of another meant a loss of self. Alas my heart behind these hard, cold walls, Lay suffocating, paralyzed in fright. No warmth could penetrate the empty halls. No crack was found to let in the dim light. Then you appeared before the mornings dawn, And I, confused at all the warmth I felt, Drew nearer scared and cautious like a fawn; About to bolt, when at my feet you knelt. Although I swore to never love again, You pierced my heart of stone with just your pen. Marilyn...we compliment each other well, thank you for all the help. I enjoyed this, we'll have to do it more often. Love you my friend.  < !signature--> When you truly know the meaning of the word Love, you will also know the meaning of the word Pain ~Javan [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 01-06-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Hoot and Marilyn, A beautiful poem, you work well together. I enjoyed the read and will look for more. *L* Sy |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
T'was my pleasure Ruth. This piece was little effort for me. It must have been because of whom I was writing with. I too love you my friend. ((HUG)) |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Ruth this was beautiful, Marilyn you also! Fantastic, I love it! <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
The format has been adhered to well with this piece and the message comes across clearly. 'Tis a work done well. Now and forever, my heart hears ~one voice~. DreamEvil© ------------------------------------------------------- "Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change..." Count Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade (Marquis de Sade) |
||
|
Sharleen Junior Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 16 |
Great job you two. Will you be writing another one together???? If so WHEN? sharleen |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow! This is fantastic!  |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Such beautiful verse! Sooooooo beautiful! Denise |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Ladies, ladies, applause ! : ) |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Definitely a successful collaboration. You are quite a pair!  |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Ruth and Marilyn, this is so very beautiful. Looking forward to reading more of your works together )What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
||
|
CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
Great poem i really enjoyed it!!!  ) |
||
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Wondeful poem you girls , A pleasure to read |
||
|
neitham Junior Member
since 1999-12-29
Posts 42India |
Ruth & Marylyn! Good reading, equally good theme. Keep it up guys! neitham |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is great - Marilyn, you've come far in a short time. I know you prefer your prose... Ruth - you do certainly complement each other well.... You asked for input, Marilyn - I have only two suggestions that I would implement if it were my poem (and it's not).. 1 - I would change either the first or third line to make them rhyme. Either line could be changed easily. "Despair" rhymes nicely with "repair".... There are many others you could use as well. 2 - The line "Lay suffocating, in it's par'lized fright." could easily be adjusted to avoid the contraction.... How about "Lay suffocating paralyzed in fright"? Tha's all folks....... I like the theme here - it's a very realistic one - aren't we all subject to this one??... Nice job ladies... |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Very well done--lovely |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Thankyou all for your kind remarks. Ruth and I do work well together. Being more of a prose writer then poetry, these forms come difficult to me. Nan..thankyou for your suggestions and your compliments. I will have to see about catching another of your classes. They have helped me greatly. Ruth...Some how in writing this with you I have found my muse back. Finally I have finished that prose piece I have been working on for weeks. Posting it this morning, I hope it is not as bad as I think...lol. At least it is finished!! |
||
|
Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I curtsey to you both....you two do beautiful work together...Kudos and Marilyn, I'm off to read your new piece......whoosh..... A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Nan....laughing, that's definately my blunder in the first stanza....will take all the credit for that one and change it now...the mistake comes from the fact this WAS NOT started as a sonnet. And yes, I like the other suggestion too...thanks for your comments and your praise. EVERYONE....thanks so much for your eager acceptance of our work Marilyn...I'm glad to have been of some help with the muse, will wonder over to check it out. I loved doing this with you, thank you. [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 01-06-2000).] |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Hoot and Marilyn, Two thumbs up Winners cup Takes first prize Smiling eyes Thanking you Poets two Two in one Job well done To sum it up Two thumbs up Liz |
||
|
Tamera Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121 |
Wonderful work girls! Will we be seeing more of you working together?? Tamera |
||
|
First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Pure class in your both..... Being in love with someone is more than just saying "I love you" |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
such a lovely piece, like a sad symphony with a happy ending! Corinne |
||
|
manalive325 Junior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 21 |
Enjoyed the read very much.. I wonder if I can guess who wrote or contributed which parts. It does meld into a whole and the content is strong. Thanks |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Thanks everyone Manalive...I'd like to see some guesses!!!!! Denise....shhhhh....as you know a bit...lol |
||
|
Betty Gravitt Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 222Georgia United States |
wonderful work girls. Hope to see more very soon. B Gravitt |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
With such high praise as this how can we refuse to write another...lol. Yes we have talked about it and we plan on it soon. It was much fun writing with Ruth. Our styles compliment eachother well. The challange is issued...anyone want to take a crack at who wrote what?? |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
