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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2000-01-05 06:46 PM


Greed

Those who are the lucky to be freed
Would suffocate if not allowed to speak
Accustomed are we in expression's need

Censorship was planted by the seed
Of leaders who would tramp upon the weak
Hungry in their overpowering greed

A country built on honor and on deed
Succumbed to men of disposition weak
Who didn't care the hungry mouths to feed

For dictator when given power to lead
Siphon all the profit of the meek
With guns and army threaten souls to bleed

Then taking captive those of different breed
Who dared the truth in open forum speak
Took many lives in all their hungry greed

A giant of a country now is freed
But hungry still are many of the weak
For decades those dictators stole the feed
Of wealthy land still unfulfilled in need

Elizabeth Santos




[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-06-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2000-01-05 07:55 PM


This is very powerful writing and full of thought. I don't know about the villanelle part, but I thought it was great writing.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2000-01-05 08:38 PM


Dearest Elizabeth,
You have written a beautiful poem, however it is not a villanelle. It is to long to explain the structure of a villanelle, but I will write you tonight and and give you the structure and will send you one to see.
Love Sy

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-01-05 08:42 PM


A wonderful poem, Elizabeth!  

 Denise


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2000-01-05 08:55 PM


Martie, Thanks and I will e-mail you shortly

Dear Sy, Yes, I would like some instruction on this, as I got my information on the net as five stanzas of three lines and one stanza of four lines. Thanks
Liz

Denise, Thank you and I'll be in touch. Hope to get together soon
Liz

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2000-01-05 09:09 PM


This non-villlanelle is still an excellent poem but I'll hold on to the cigar. I will, however, give you a mulligan (Sy can also explain that one)
Pepper
Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079
Southern Florida
6 posted 2000-01-05 09:18 PM


I will echo Martie, Liz....no matter what type of poetry this is...it is definetly powerful and excellent writing......and too true!



 A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire!
Shannon



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2000-01-05 09:21 PM


Elizabeth-how about this Saturday?  

 Denise


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2000-01-05 09:27 PM


Mr. Balladeer,
I'll wait for Sy's explanation and then I'll write you a villanelle. And please hold on to your cigar!(This stuff is all new to me. It's lots of fun)
Thanks,
Liz

Pepper, Glad you liked it. Talk to you soon
Liz

Denise, You're on for this weekend!. I'll e=mail you
Liz


Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-01-05 09:42 PM


Sy, Thank you for your e-mail and explanation, very helpful.
From your student in poetry,
Liz

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2000-01-05 09:52 PM


Elizabeth,
There is no light like your light
and no write like your write.
Love Sy

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2000-01-05 10:10 PM


Sy,
And there is no kind
Like your mind
And no find
Like your kind
Liz

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

12 posted 2000-01-06 01:26 AM


Who needs a label or a structure?!

Wonderful as it is, I insist! And since I am never wrong...hehehehehe



 '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
13 posted 2000-01-06 01:58 AM


Severn,
I've never known you to be wrong, my dear
Liz

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
14 posted 2000-01-06 09:10 AM


This is a wonderful "non" villanelle.... I like it lots... You can also check in the poetry workshop for the format... Just click on "show all subjects" so you date back to the beginning - it's there....
Nice job here....

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