Open Poetry #5 |
A non-villanelle for Balladeer |
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Greed Those who are the lucky to be freed Would suffocate if not allowed to speak Accustomed are we in expression's need Censorship was planted by the seed Of leaders who would tramp upon the weak Hungry in their overpowering greed A country built on honor and on deed Succumbed to men of disposition weak Who didn't care the hungry mouths to feed For dictator when given power to lead Siphon all the profit of the meek With guns and army threaten souls to bleed Then taking captive those of different breed Who dared the truth in open forum speak Took many lives in all their hungry greed A giant of a country now is freed But hungry still are many of the weak For decades those dictators stole the feed Of wealthy land still unfulfilled in need Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-06-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is very powerful writing and full of thought. I don't know about the villanelle part, but I thought it was great writing. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Dearest Elizabeth, You have written a beautiful poem, however it is not a villanelle. It is to long to explain the structure of a villanelle, but I will write you tonight and and give you the structure and will send you one to see. Love Sy |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A wonderful poem, Elizabeth! Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Martie, Thanks and I will e-mail you shortly Dear Sy, Yes, I would like some instruction on this, as I got my information on the net as five stanzas of three lines and one stanza of four lines. Thanks Liz Denise, Thank you and I'll be in touch. Hope to get together soon Liz |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
This non-villlanelle is still an excellent poem but I'll hold on to the cigar. I will, however, give you a mulligan (Sy can also explain that one) |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I will echo Martie, Liz....no matter what type of poetry this is...it is definetly powerful and excellent writing......and too true! A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Elizabeth-how about this Saturday? Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Mr. Balladeer, I'll wait for Sy's explanation and then I'll write you a villanelle. And please hold on to your cigar!(This stuff is all new to me. It's lots of fun) Thanks, Liz Pepper, Glad you liked it. Talk to you soon Liz Denise, You're on for this weekend!. I'll e=mail you Liz |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sy, Thank you for your e-mail and explanation, very helpful. From your student in poetry, Liz |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, There is no light like your light and no write like your write. Love Sy |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sy, And there is no kind Like your mind And no find Like your kind Liz |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Who needs a label or a structure?! Wonderful as it is, I insist! And since I am never wrong...hehehehehe '...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Severn, I've never known you to be wrong, my dear Liz |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a wonderful "non" villanelle.... I like it lots... You can also check in the poetry workshop for the format... Just click on "show all subjects" so you date back to the beginning - it's there.... Nice job here.... |
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