»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #5
»
last
| Open Poetry #5 |
|
last |
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
|
This'll be my last posted poem for a while. Tomorrow I'm gonna try and get some words on other's work started. -silence is not quiet- Nor does it excuse loudness' mistakes. Laying your head on the greasy lunch table After talking to the phone to prove your heart rate. Pouring by cars on the 101 As if how you're paid matters and makes sense. Only those with nothing to show Are angered by the present tense. And, oh, what anger. What spectacular sight Empty like a Van Nuys taped for TV night. Van eyes are all around pinpointing the dark. Watch them swarmspeed by. Show me again the sign on the hill In the middle of a drythroated winter. Coughing out gusts of sliding rain, Pulling leaves down the seldom wet gutter. Nothingness is a mistaken quiet. Loudness does not absolve that mistake. I put a blinking cursor over my reflected eyes. Hey, whatever it takes to barely get by. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow....this is definately a deep poem with many hidden meanings in it...I'd have to read it several times just to begin to skim the surface. Sometimes obscurity can be a good time, other times we make thing just a bit too obscure. I want to comment on something in this though: "I put a blinking cursor over my reflected eyes. Hey, whatever it takes to barely get by." Excellent lines although I can't say I agree with them. Sometime by wearing blinders, we not only blind ourselves to the bad in life, but also the good and sometimes we should do more than just barely get by, I myself would like to do far more than that  Interesting post |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I don't consider the poem obscure. When I write, I have very specific images brought on by very specific feelings in mind. I'll admit, I don't go out of my way to make my words clear; I figure that's best left to the reader. Explaining your poetry is cheating. It's a way for the reader to remain safe instead of being cast into the unknown. I'm sure people would like it if they could ask Picasso about his work, but then, the work would lose much of its power; it could be easily categorized in the viewer's mind, generalized, left behind. Having said that, there's one thing to be wary of in any type of art: masks. Never take art, or words, too literally or too seriously. That's when the fun is lost, and where most misunderstandings spring. Mike |
||
|
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
I like this piece, especially the fourth stanza: "Show me again the sign on the hill In the middle of a drythroated winter. Coughing out gusts of sliding rain, Pulling leaves down the seldom wet gutter." Your wordplay and phrasing make this interesting! I believe, also, that poetry is highly interpretive, in my admittedly naive and amateur opinion. In its purest form, it allows one to make of it what one will, and does that not promote creative growth and individual expression? Keep writing!  Claire |
||
|
Felix Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 78USA |
I'm going to have to disagree with you on the "cheating when you explain" thing...I totaly love it when I know the meaning of a peice of art or a poem...it makes it that much more special to me. That is unless it's obvious already. I really do like your poem by the way....and I do that same thing with my poems, I have a specific thought in mind when I write a line and although it may not be worded out for the reader I know exactly what it means. Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king, and then became one? - Neil Diamond |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
To use a cliche (a major no-no for any poet!), let's agree to disagree. Many thanks for your enjoyment in my work. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
