»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #5
»
Which One of You Do I Choose?
| Open Poetry #5 |
|
Which One of You Do I Choose? |
|
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
|
(Title changed at Septsong's suggestion) Which One of You Do I Choose? Stuctured vs. Free Verse I love music and I love verse In both I dive in full submerse And mix the two into a stew Of words and sounds that sound like new My bones and fingers start to ooze With tapping rhythms that I choose And rhyming words that tease and please Gush out my poet pen with ease I like the sound of verse in rhyme It tickles me like sparkling wine It feels so perfect and complete A wrapped up package, nice and neat So much sweeter is a meter Making phrases toss and teeter Carving music out of words That chime and sing like warbling birds But somehow I falter... at the simple notion of diving head first into free verse into a bottomless unbounded poetic ocean you think twice before diving when you know you never learned how to swim and I tend to just dabble my toes into the shallow waters just around that great body of words that float in the sea and wash up to meet my ankles along the ocean's rim But rhyme and rhythmic beat I love They fit my hand just like a glove Whenever structured verse I chance My pen gets up and starts to dance! Elizabeth Santos (And I greatly admire the masters of free verse) [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-04-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Seaangel Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 167Auckland, New Zealand |
Absolutely #$&#*$&# fantastic, Elizabeth!!! While I don't think you are quite the novice you make yourself out to be, since your other free-verse poem was good, I understand the idea of this poem, since I am kinda the same about structured verse. Whatever we've achieved with our own writing, there always seems to be a lot more to explore and conquer. You're moving in an interesting direction and I am waiting to see some more. By the way the movement between Free and Structured in the poem is delightfully free of structure!!!  |
||
|
Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Wow this is great, very entertaining! The title needs to be a little more entriguing, almost didn't pick it but I am glad I did it is definitely not boring. |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Liz, this is very neat the way you combined the two styles into one verse  |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Seaangel, Thank you for your very kind response. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this Liz Sertsong, Great suggestion, it did really sound like a chapter heading in Eng Lit 101 text. Glad you liked the poem Thanks Hoot, I'm going through a dry spell, just playing around. |
||
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Liz, This is great, clever how you used both styles, well done |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, Your playing is like baying at the moon. Your poem to me sings a golden tune. Wonderfully done, excellent. *L* Sy |
||
|
Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Nice job Lizzie!...Now then, what's this? Ya wanna dabble with Toe?......I know, you're just tryin' to get me off the "Whiskey" right?....LOL |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Great poem, Liz!!! Whatever the style, your words are always worth a read... or two or three! *S* |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Whiskey, Thank you dear, and don't listen to Toe. He's got a girlfriend, you know. Liz Sy, Thank you for your words of praise You've got me in poetic daze And lift me up in many ways Thank you Liz Toe, Thanks for your comments on the poem. Glad to see you back here, but keep in mind I'm watching you. You better be good! Love ya, Liz Suthern How sweet your compliments, Thank you so much Liz |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You never cease to amaze me, Elizabeth! Excellent and clever! Dry spell? I'd settle for a dry spell like this!  Denise |
||
|
Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Elizabeth, I love this one. Structured is the one for me. Excellent writing. |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Denise, Thank you so much. see you soon? Liz Eloise, Yes I noticed your verses are similar to mine. Thank you'Liz |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Liz: How ever you choose to write and what ever you choose to say, I am always in awe of your poetic talent. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
||
|
Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I will echo all above....we seem to be in agreement Liz....your poetry is Awesome! Wonderful piece here dear! A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Liz, It would truly be a crime For you to ever forsake rhyme. Structured verse runs through your veins Like raindrops down a windowpane And it could even be much worse To turn you back on good free verse. You still maintain the perfect meter To make each line sound all the sweeter The world will really go to Hell If you stop writing villanelles And you will make me scream "Doggonit!" If I don't see a Santos sonnet! In other words, my dear, just write.. I'll read each offering with delight Though form may switch 'tween verse and free You'll always have a fan in me. |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Martie, From your mouth, that is a compliment, indeed. Thanks so much for reading my poems. Liz Pepper, this one is just for fun, Thank you for your sweet comments Liz |
||
|
WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Bravo! Bravo! <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Lizzy - that you can do both is a true testament to your capabilities...(as I have told 'deer - I AM going to do a sonnet soon - metered, rhymed and all!) Do whatever comes out of your heart, I reckon. 'Tis a great poem btw (Notice signature?!) K'...I want to be free - free to know people and their backgrounds - free to move to different parts of the world...' Sylvia Plath |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Mr, Balladeer, That was so sweet, and one of these days I'll write a sonnet just for you Thank you Whtdove, Thank you! Thank you! Kamla, Yes, I think it would be great for you to write a rhyming verse. I would be so "Warm fuzzied" Liz |
||
|
RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Elizabeth: Your poems are always worth the read so I'll say both, one of each, each day...*g* HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
||
|
Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
And thank you so much for reading, Rainbow Liz |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
nicely done |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
