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A Flame
| Open Poetry #5 |
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A Flame |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
A flame, my flame, our flame Has burned before, but nevermore Our flame, a flame, my flame will always just be yours My flame, our flame, a flame is all that I wish for |
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| © Copyright 2000 Bojopy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I like the repeated lines ... But -- this comes across as somewhat unfinished -- did you mean to do it that way? Or perhaps just a spur-of-the-moment dance with the pen? shrug.  --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Thank you... and yes I did want to add to it but my thoughts always seem to astray when I write and I like to finish stuff later but I think this one is better unfinished. To ^^^ |
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patchoulipumpkin Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196Bermuda |
I really enjoyed it, but would agree with skyfyre that it does seem wanting for more. I like the repetition, its works well. |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
I like how it keeps ya guessing, whether the flame will continue burning or wither and slowly fade away... I like~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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