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Open Poetry #5
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Deception
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Deception |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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DECEPTION Well within the time alotted Many ventures we have plotted Most went down in musty dust But one lived in survival's must But good or bad they all were tried And all worthwhile, though lived or died For those that fell us to the ground Taught how to save one still around But uphill was the weary plod And many a night I prayed to God And many a day we were in need With little for the mouths to feed Unexplainable in many ways The drive to work the seven days And no one thought the task was worth Such sacrifice, this life on earth But as years passed and life went on T'was fruits of labor that were won And easier the task each day And shorter hours was the pay But greater yet the trophy won Inherent values taught a son And all the offspring learned from strife Survival skills to last a life And some would say luck is our fate With no regard the heavy weight They did not taste the bitter pill And do not know the strength of will It seems the ones who criticized Now look on with longing eyes Deception often plays a role In envy of another soul Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 1999 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You weave a great story, my friend... I particularly like the closing stanza - It says a great deal in just a few words.....  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, Your words weave ropes about me tight. The truth to read a very hard sight. Excellent poem. Love ya, Sy |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
This is great, and I agree with Nan about the last stanza! Great job with this one! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Great poem with a deep understanding. Thanks for this truthful poem Elizabeth. Nathan |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Another masterpiece, Elizabeth. I especially liked the last two lines. Elizabeth Nail to the mast her holy flag, Set every threadbare sail- And give her to the god of storms, The lightning and the gale! -Oliver Wendell Holmes |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Excellent!!! HUGS Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thank you all very much for your comments on this poem And Sy, please don't choke! Liz |
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Georgia Junior Member
since 1999-12-22
Posts 32 |
cant help but read your poem and think you have a wealth of wisdom in that head and heart of yours..nice! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Elizabeth, my friend - Very richly stated. 'But uphill was the weary plod And many a night I prayed to God' A lot to be said for this thought. Wonderful of you to share. ~*Marge*~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
My favorite lines: "and all the offspring learned from strife survival skills to last a life" A truly great poem Liz--wise and wonderful and so well done. In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed. (ee cummings) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
The people who envy the fruit certainly would not have wanted to participate in the toil part of it, would they? Human nature is such, sadly. Wonderful poem, Elizabeth! Thanks for sharing another slice of your life! Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thank you georgia, Marge, and Martie, your compliments overwhelm Liz |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thanks, Denise I thought I'd just bring my little picture to your house and you could scan it, but it seems we have about the level of computer literacy. I'll just describe myself instead. See ya, Liz |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Lizzy this is one of your best. Very heartfelt and strong, great work! K |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
This is FANTASTIC and I am a big FAN!  |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Elizabeth as always great work Enjoyed it all the way Liked the ending very much Lessons to be learned The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Very, very nice! Loved it. <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Love the last stanza!! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
I ditto the last stanza Liz, breathtaking!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kamla, Thanks for responding way back in the last millennium! I've just noticed this for the first time. Thanks, dear Liz Paul, I don't know where you dug this thing up. But I loved the little fan - hilarious! I got a goog laugh. Thank you Liz Helmut, Your responses to everyone's poetry are so kind. You're just a nice guy. Thanks for the comments Liz WD Thank you, glad you liked this poem Liz Hoot, nice to see you're active. I hope you're getting better. Thanks Devina, Thank you [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-17-2000).] |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
I especially liked, "But greater yet the trophy won, Inherent values taught a son". I give this poem 4 STARS! Danny |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
A wonderful poem, Elizabeth!!! The last verse is powerful enough to be a stand-alone poem... but the entire poem is great!! Well done!!! (But could you tell me where you get those "goog" laughs? LOL... Resident Brat, bowing out! *G*) |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Danny, Thank you for the stars Glad you liked this poem suthern, Thanks for your compliment. You are not the first to remark about the last verse. Perhaps I should scrap the rest of the poem You're sweet, thanks Liz |
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