Farewell for Now

There's been a tiny flame inside
It grows with embers brought to life
What could it be?
That makes me wonder so?
Disheartened, angry, yet reassured all the same
The feelings brought up cannot be concieved
By any other time
And yet...why is it I may have to leave?

Some people here can be so cruel and aloof at times
Others, warm and welcoming
The people are friends I've never seen
From all points across the world
The fire's cunsuming everything
It isn't always gentle
It may not always be safe
But I cannot help but let go sometimes
For that warmth I feel for that moment

Here and there, I'm dancing back and forth
Between hate, love, despair
And sometimes it hurts so much
To get closer to the fire
Only to remember that so little of the warmth
Would ever be there for me
For I'm always alone since my past

I may be here sometimes
Others, I'm gone for weeks at a time
And I wonder why it hurts so much
When I return and no one notices the difference
From some people here

I've been up always when I read all the beautiful flames or icicles
There can be no more prettier place than this haven I found
With all the words that aren't just so
But living art that can touch places inside never before touched
And sometimes make me cry
When I think of everything gained and lost in that few times
That people did notice

I'm tired of jumping back and forth
Racing from people who only wish to hurt
Leaping away when my heart aches at getting close
And always running from a past I cannot forgive
But I've grown up from seeing all the warmth, the fire, here
So that I will no longer accept what I've escaped from before

I'll be away for now, I may be back again to visit and retain some sanity
That all your friendships interconnecting remind me of my own
But I'll miss you so and wonder still if you'll notice
That the star maiden has flown away to heal
When will I ever be able to pick up pen and paper
And write words that seem so dull now in the pain I know
I cannot say
But I'll continue to admire, read and dream
Of all the beauty I see here

One thing, of that I'm sure, is the fire I know that will burn here still
For through all the rain to put out its glow
It shall endure still
Because one thing that may never die
Is our Passion

Until then, when I'm sure of my heart again,
I'll be away, shadowing the art here
Reminding you of the loveliness I can see
Au revoir, mes amies
Farewell for now



I love you all.
~Astraea