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Open Poetry #5
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Hope
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Hope |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
When I try try to solve the problems solve the problems of this world when I really try try to solve the problems the problems overwhelm me I can only cry. When I cry when the tears start flowing the tears start flowing from my eyes when I really cry and the tears start flowing there from my heart not my eyes. When my eyes when I look around me when I look around I realize that when my eyes look around me I see the hope that survives God's love is hope which satisfies. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Paul Hoekman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Nice poem Paul and welcome to Passions! Nathan |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Great poem Paul , sad but lovely Julie  |
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Willem Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139Inverness, FL, USA |
Hi, Paul! You wrote a very moving poem here. I felt like that, sometimes, but that's another story. I'm glad you wrote down that last line, it shows me where you stand, and that's where I stand, too. I would like to make a few suggestions for improving your poem, and hope you don't mind. 1. Don't be afraid to use punctuation. A few commas, properly placed, will tell the reader where to pauze for emphasis and clarity in each sentence. 2. Don't allow your desire for rhyme to harm a poem's rhythm, idiom, or even its logic. 3. Don't experiment with capitalization. Follow accepted practice, rather than the modern custom of doing away with any and all capitalization, a mere remnant from the time when computer memory was scarce and expensive. 4. Keep a Webster's Encyclopedia and, if available, A Roget's Thesaurus handy. Well, what else would you like to know? BTW, are or were you Dutch? Happy New Year! Willem |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Another lovely one. Very nice. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great poem, great message! And welcome to Passions! < !signature--> Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 12-29-1999).] |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Paul, the first thing that came to my mind was dont let the problems of the world overwhelm you. You are only one person and you can only do so much, and that so much is a good start! If we all did our so much, we could start to make this world a better place, but we can't let it overwhelm us. You are right though, the hope will survive with God's love! I like your poem and I can feel your emotion and pain in it, so with that, I applaud you and your poem!! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
I'm HOPING Bojopy catches this, I'm no preacher just like people to consider the truth. Sincerely, Paul |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Paul, Enjoyed your poem, you got some good advise above. the people here are great welcome. |
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