Open Poetry #5 |
something and something else |
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
-something and something else- saddening sighs stir soundlessly from susan seeking solace in the shapes of the sky. something about something in the strewn sifted sand stops her -- to shift songs, sanctify. statues stand solemnly surrounding. susan sits in the shadows and sulks. silly sentiments -- silt and silken strands stand for something else susan once felt. soot and sunshine, solutions strayed and frayed like socks, scattered stones sunken in the sea. susan, she'll find a way to find a way to find a sieve to scoop away the shadows; unsoiled, shell-less, free. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I like this, it made me stop to think |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Hoot. Really, it was just me trying my hand at lots of s words. I sorta gave it up near the end, but enjoyed the challenge, anyway. Mike |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Shucks, Mike- I surely sorely skipped seeing this simply succulent savoring of S-words. I love little exercises like this. Tee Hee ... don't get me started again ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
"seeking solace in the shapes of the sky." ...several striking lines in this piece, Mike, but this one in particularly drew me back for another read through. Liked this bunches. (o: Claire |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
bsquirrel: i like this poem a lot... profound meaning and aliteration (on the same letter) all the way through.. WOW!... that's something i've honestly never seen before (much less attempted)... i commend you... sincerely, jerome the boy with the numb hands A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you all enjoyed the poem. This was one of the poems I read last night at a reading (duh, what else do you do there?). SOmehow, I manged to get out eight poems in measured cadence in six minutes. I'm surprised I didn't stumble all over this one, or at least make the mic hiss. Again, glad you liked it, and thanks for reading it! Mike |
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