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Open Poetry #5
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Nothing Like The Sun (A miserably failed attempt at PdV's Valentine challnge)
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Open Poetry #5
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Nothing Like The Sun (A miserably failed attempt at PdV's Valentine challnge)
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Nothing Like The Sun (A miserably failed attempt at PdV's Valentine challnge) |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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** author's note: One of my favorite of Shakespeare's sonnets is "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun ..." So thank you, Will, for "lending" me your line!  **The Sun will rise upon the morn To kiss the sleeping skies, Infusing them with lesser blue Than dances in your eyes; And when she summons twilight's rose With dusky fingertips, Her meager pallette cannot match The blush upon your lips; For even in the highest noon The Sun cannot imbue Such rare and radiant brilliance as The slightest smile from you; Nor can she summon greater heat With all her brightest blaze, Than that which swells within my heart Beneath your loving gaze; For though you're fashioned of the stuff From which the stars are spun, If truth be told, my Valentine, You're nothing like the sun. Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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| © Copyright 2000 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well. I think this is very well written Kess - hardly rates as a 'miserable failed attempt'! Great job! Said with finality from moi...  K'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh - forgot to mention that that is one of my favourite sonnets also - (my absolute favourite is 29 - I have many actually!!) I knew before I clicked on your GREAT (no disputing!) poem just what it would be about. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ummm, Kess? What's wrong with this? I think it is beautiful! Simply beautiful! Denise |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wonderful! I like this very much, Kess! I think the challenge truly well met!!  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Right... Even her miserable failures are highly successful...  |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Absolutely lovely. Oh to be loved like this. Great job, Kess. |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
beautiful... brilliant... i love it two thumbs and a corn dog up! sincerely, jerome the boy with no corndog A savage place! as holy and enchanted As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted By woman wailing for her demon-lover! ~Coleridge |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Dear Shakespeare, sir, I thought you always wise, And yet tonight, your talent reached its peak. Just as the sun has no more room to rise, I, too, am lacking any breath to speak. And find my mind repeating just one verse, And I shall do so ▒til the sun grows cold For in your magic words I▓m left submersed And by your wicked tongue, I stand appalled One, single verse still wanders in my head And from its presence, I could never run. As if it is the only verse I▓ve ever read! "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun ..." And if this verse can thus inspire Kess, Let me appraise it high above the rest! [This message has been edited by Master (edited 01-26-2000).] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Skye...I, too, enjoy the Bard's works, and you've employed his line beautifully with this magnificent and tender poem. Claire |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kess, This is beautiful, as usual. You have a rare talent Liz |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
A failed attempt?!?!?!? I wish some of my failed attempts were this good! Don't sell yourself short Kess. . . this is wonderful. . . "If truth be told my Valentine, you're nothing like the sun. . ." I love that line. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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White Wolf Member
since 1999-09-18
Posts 371Somewhere in the vast wasteland |
If my heart melted on a failed attempt, don't let me read a good one. My heart may just evaporate completely. Great poem. I love it. "Life's greatest mystery isn't the meaning of life. To love and be loved is the meaning of life. Now how to attain those is the greatest mystery of all." |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Kess What a superb poem. I'll bet you put it down so we would raise it up. Didn't you, you shameless vixen! Master - Your poem also deserves terrific merit - nicely said. |
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Terrina Kethryveris Member
since 1999-12-06
Posts 53USA |
And I find myself wondering why you send me these URL's... But I bet it is because you know I will tell you EXACTLY what I think.  So here goes: Woman I swear I am going to come over there and beat you if you don't stop putting down you're work. There is nothing at all worng with this, I think it is beautiful. So There!  Terri Truth be known, fantasy is much more appealing than reality. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Simply elegant and lovely,not a failed attempt in the least, Syfyre! Love that artwork, too! Corinne |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
And your work, m'friend, shines brighter than the sun! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
OMG...if this is your failed attempt...we are all in a world of trouble. Wonderfully written and beautifully romantic |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh so lovely are your words, that wonderous fair does not justice do this "failed attempt". You are very talented! |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This as wondeful...it had romance, GREAT comparison, and was lovely all around Kess...don't make me come over there and smack some sense into you!!!!LOL!!!Give credit where it is due my friend...this is ART! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
It sure is art, devina you have said it so rightly. A very prescious piece of poetry. I love it. Don't set your candle under the table when it has so much light. The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Nothing miserable about this...*g* HUGS Memories give you the power to collect roses in the winter... |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
LOL Kess ! Even your "miserably failed attempt" is better than my best ! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Not miserable in the least! On the contrary, this is stunning! So beautiful...I love it. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Little_Spyro Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659San Diego, CA, USA |
I have to agree with a lot of other people here--if this is a "failiure", then what's something "good"? I'd start using colorful metaphors here if I didn't have the self-restraint necessary not to...lol You're too good!Maybe someday I'll be like you and all the other crême-de-la-crême poets here! ^ ^ ^ ^ (did I use this right?) Extremely well written! Little Spyro T. Dragon [This message has been edited by Little_Spyro (edited 01-30-2000).] |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Kess, this is miserably failed attempt at failure, you must try harder if you want to fail. I don't think Will is going to be impressed either, doing so well with one of his line. Your never going to make it in the failure game if you keep this up. So please keep it up. I really love your work. Parker. |
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Nothing Like The Sun (A miserably failed attempt at PdV's Valentine challnge)
