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Sol
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Sol |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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The sun creeps slowly through the sky And warms the empty earth But tires of this and so creates The miracle of birth. An ape-like creature moves along Over the rocky land Through ages this thing will become The forerunner of man. A man stands tall, his back not bent Thoughts struggle in his mind Trying to better understand How emerged his own kind. He seeks the answer in the stars He seeks it under sea But shuns the thought that a small ape His ancestor might be. The sun grows weary of this play This arrogance of man And grows much hotter day by day Parching all of the land. Man begs for mercy but the sun Shines brighter on and on Man’s last shrill screams reverberate Then all of man is gone. The sun creeps slowly through the sky And warms the empty earth Regretting now the failure of The miracle of birth. |
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| © Copyright 2000 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Wow what a concept.....But the death of another always bring the birth of the next. Circle of life concept  Good writing and expression of thoughtI don't buy temporary insanity as they murder defense. Because people kill people. That's and animal instinct. I think breaking into someone's home and ironing all their clothes is temporary insanity. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is a wonderful piece Suthern I agree what a wonderful concept |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Chilling. Excellent. Claire |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Wow!...Excellent writing Suthern.. HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
you been doing some deep thinking girl?...really well written |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you very much First_Knight, whiskey, Meadowmuse, RG, and fc. *S* No deep thinking lately, fc... this one is almost as old as I am! LOL |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
You mean you were born thinking up verses like that....oh my...*g* Sorry, couldn't resist... HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Yep - just what I thought - this poem was originally written on clay tablets for Gilgamesh. Neat theme, lil Belle. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ahem, sailor!!! I'm not THAT old... unless memory has completely failed me! LOL |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
Sorry Auntie but I can't resist ...   ps : outstanding poem !! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Gee, Froggie... where were you when I needed a picture like that for my presentation? *G* And don't EVEN tell me you weren't born yet! LOL. Thanks!!! |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
While I don't personally believe in evolution, I enjoyed your poem. Very clever and well written. -SEA |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
SEA: Thanks... As I mentioned before, this one is very old... I picked the light, fluffy, flighty, mindless (HA!) topic "The creation and destination of man" for a project in high school... and... ever thorough... I explored all options. *G* Just be very grateful you can't hear the song I wrote... my poor classmates had to endure me singing it! LOL |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
suthern..I'm right there with you on the singing......at birthdays I mouth the words! Ha HA  -SEA |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
I haven't responded immediately to this poem for several reasons....First of all, as usual, the lady has unlimited talent, secondly, I don't want to seem biased as she is my best friend, and I don't feel as though I should comment immediately as I am probably biased, but I believe in evolution and creation....science does prove evolution to an extent, and the Bible also (to me anyway), is pretty much concrete. Many scientists believe as I do...That truly we evolved from something....and that when "man" began to be able to "think" rationally that God indeed was for sure involved. If ya think about the miracle of life, the way things evolved....it took something much more than nature to make it come to what we are now. Of course, then again...I'm a damn Toerag yanno, and most of you know how my mind works, (or doesn't work) just quite right. I truly believe in God, and too many things have been proven from the Bible for me not to believe...I don't believe everything mind you, I believe many things were written in the Bible to make a point..not to be taken literally....and no matter what anyone believes...ya gotta admit, the Ten Commandments are hard to disagree with, as are many other things that have been written. I've seen this poem from Suthern prior to it's posting here....and it's simply fantastic....Then there's that "missing link" thinggie..That's probably Balladeer and LongJohn.....but who am I to decide?..LOL |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Toerag: Thanks, sweetie... Biased or not, your opinion means much to me! *S* (In fact, I'd say you're solely responsible for this being posted. LOL) And I like the way you think... especially when you're thinking "best friend" this way! *G* I'm most grateful. *S* And ROFL @ missing link identification... *G* |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Excellent writing for sure! Awesome Suthern....I really enjoyed this read!! A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Excellent poem, Suthern girl. Of course, anyone who has seen Toerag would have to know that we must have evolved from apes....and some haven't quite evolved yet! (it was very clever to create your title from Toe's luck with women) [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 01-26-2000).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you very much, Pepper!!! You've been greatly missed! *S* And Bal... he's always got me (singing "you are my sunshine!") LOL |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOW!!! need I say more? I can live with the idea That we are merely actors Playing a part But I do wish Whoever is writing my script Would learn to use A few more Happy Endings ~Javan |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
An excellent work here. I really enjoyed this one. Thanks suthern  Toe -- the bible doesn't have to be literally true to contain truth -- i think that's what you're saying -- i agree my friend. Sometimes there can be 'the truth' or 'a truth', but in the end there is 'truth'. Since you guys are going deep you may find my "Invocation" in CA to be of interest... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'll take a wow any day, Hoot... especially from you! Thanks! *G* And you too, LR... many thanks! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
I too believe in creation - for example, I believe that Toerag was created from discarded film canisters and spare camera parts. |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Very nicely done.... although.. shouldn't say this.. somewhat embarrassing... but when I saw the title... was thinking of something else... enjoyed the poem... |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
LongJohn/Balladeer.....you guys are something else! (Just exactly what, I can't post here), but to give ya an idea, (between lmao at your comments here.....I heard that when you were both born, your mother's had twins....a baby and a turd......we all know the baby didn't survive! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Mike: Thanks... but now you've got me curious. LOL ROFL @ LJA and Toe... especially at the surviving twins... now THAT's evolution! LOL |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Certainly there is a pattern here A very nice piece of work you did there The ending seems so sad Well done suthern The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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