Open Poetry #5 |
Don't Ever Forget Her |
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Yesterdays never clutched in vain Even in times he can’t recall When last she held him through the rain And he watched her sweetness fall Thunder rings off the rippling roof Wakes baby with souring breath Her love for baby seems aloof Since the night of her sudden death A reflex cry from baby tells The night that mother is gone To the rain he would say as well Take your tears and please move on Yesterday he might just forgive For tonight he will only sleep Sweet dreams for baby, mother lives And the sadness fairs not to creep Crash you lightning! Crash you thunder! Wake the baby this way each night He should know how life once shunned her And strive to make her dream his fight Baby might just want to nestle Against the cold bars of his bed But one day he will grow to wrestle With the grief this night has fed [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 01-21-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
One Who Understands Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 251Cedar Rapids, Iowa |
Excellent work |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Wow-I'm stunned by the feeling and emotion in this one...HUGS if it is personal, but Damn good poem all the same...Can I say WOW one more time???? Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
I enjoyed this very much. Shouldn't the word vein be vain though? Please don't slap me. LOL! if you meant to do that. My favorite stanza is the third one. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
what temptress yuh didn't get the witty vein vain thing oh come on..hehehe nonono thanx for catching that editing it now i am |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
*sniffle, sniffle* Oh my, ....this be a sad one Walt, but nicely written At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. ~Plato |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wow ! Walt Wow ! I think you hit the 'juguler' with this one. Very nicely done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Sometimes walt checks in from wayout where ever he is..... Nice work, my friend... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I like to add a Well done! and Wow! to this too! Denise |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thankyou all you guys for the feedback yuh makes me cheeks warm |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Walt! This is one of your best! Good job! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
ANOTHER WOW! HERE FROM ME WALT. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Walt, this is the first I've read of you, this is great, but very sad. Parker |
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