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Open Poetry #5
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Sorrow
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Sorrow |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia 
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Sorrow I thought I knew you I thought I loved you Hurt is how I felt deep inside my heart I loved you dearly I thought you loved me too The pain is great I cannot bear it we must part Can't you see what you've done The pain inside You don't know you never will You just slide away like the tide Never see me or touch me like you did Never Close Never near My heart forbids I will close you out I will feel no more pain New love, closeness and respect one day will be mine through my past and now my knowledge I will gain And once more where I wiltered I will shine |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tracie Maree Collis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
"...slide away with the tide" That was a sad poem, and this was my favorite line. But...friend..The tide always comes back at some point doesn't it? That thought makes your poem hopeful when I read it.  Beautifully done. Don't gain my affections and cover my eyes. In blindness I will only swing harder. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Dear Temptress Thankyou for your reply..I'm new at this and this poem was my second submitted. So to see a reply was fabulous. and yes every now and again the tide does slide back in and it is painful but I am over him thankfully. Once again thanks |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Life comes back in circles It always does A nother nice piece but yet sad again It's time to take the incoming tide and start to laugh now and then just like temptress wrote Very nice poem |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Well, you certainly expressed sorrow of a lost love just how I remember it. Very nicely written Liz |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Excellent final line "And once more where I wiltered I will shine" |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
LoL, I think Ruth and I are thinking alike I too especially liked the last line 'And once more where I wiltered I will shine.' In those words alone there is so much that seems to be said!! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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Sonny Junior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 29Schenectady, NY, USA |
Traci66 - I very much enjoyed the transition of your poem. The breaking through of facades to the ultimate truth left me with a sense of hope. Looking forward to seeing more of your work. Sonny |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent poem, Tracie! The last line was my favorite, too! Denise |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Thanks to everyone who made comments I'm so glad I found this site your all so very generous with your remarks and I thankyou once again. I to look forward to reading all of your pieces. |
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