Open Poetry #5 |
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snowflake |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
Please check out what a great job Hoot-owl did formatting this below,much better than I had,You'll enjoy it much more this way. What a Hoot! [This message has been edited by Paul Hoekman (edited 12-31-1999).] |
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© Copyright 1999 Paul Hoekman - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Welcome to Passion's. Lovely thoughts. 'caught a glimpse of the ocean before the sun helped it to the ground.' Beautiful imagery in this phrase. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
The imagery is wonderful. Truly lovely. ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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whiskey![]()
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Very nice ,left wonderful pictures in my mind ![]() |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to the family! This is full of lovely imagery! I look forward to reading more from you. ![]() |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
What a unique style you have - I like it! Welcome to Passions. ![]() ![]() ![]() ...I am not a painter, I am a poet... F. O'Hara |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I really like this a lot. Welcome to passions. Might I suggest some possible breaks in the poem though, perhaps something like this: It tumbled from a cloud rolled over and over and out of it's nest, floating to the earth in so much dark, yet illuminous. Landed in a tree, top of a hill, in colorful dreams of soaring slept into the morning until something broke the chill. Snowflake, special, different from all the rest and when you love what your doing that's when you'll do your best. With just enough light to see, it listens to a distant sound and caught a glimpse of the ocean before the sun helped it to the ground. Now that drop stumbled into a swift moving stream like a tobogan, flume a rollercoaster such an ultimate adventure one wild and crazy screaming stream. Snowflake, special, different from all the rest and when you love what your doing that's when you'll do your best. Finally flows into a river wide, slow, bold and free, heard so much about the ocean, learned so much, met so many, there's just so much love in the sea. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I really like your train of thought here, Paul... I'm looking forward to reading more of your work... Welcome to Passions.... ![]() |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Welcome to passions, and what a way to enter, enjoyed the poem! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
I just want to thank everyone for your support,kind and helpful criticism,and just making me feel comfortable. No one has ever seen my writing ,you all make me feel as though I should not keep it to myself(and kids) My sincere thanks, Paul |
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HM3 Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 169TX |
Sharing is a good thing. I'm still learning that but it's OK 'cause I can play well with others so it balances out. hoot_owl made it more structured and pleasing to the eye don't you think? Nice piece, a visual delight. Welcome to Passions! Work like money doesn't matter, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching... |
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Tamera Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 121 |
Paul, this is really beautiful, and thank you for your previous comments on my work..I have recently just joined this group myself, and I think becoming quite "obsessed". hehehhee They are a great group of people, I am like you, feel very comfortable already..I can't wait to read more! Hugs! |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
I love it.. ![]() ![]() HUGS Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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