Open Poetry #5 |
Yesterday's Earthen Eyes |
Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Yesterday's Earthen EyesAnd the clouds are being swept across the silent sapphire sky and the spoken words, onced savored, fail to follow. What began as pulsing promise, now deceptions underly and no longer will I look toward tomorrow. For there's no more life within me for your shadow to erode. What was once my heartbeat's rhythm hammers hollow. And yesterday's earthen eyes from which, my love, devotion flowed, face the sundown soiled with streaming tears of sorrow. Claire [This message has been edited by Meadowmuse (edited 01-18-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved | |||
Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Oh Claire...this is sooo sad!! I really enjoyed and liked this poem!! I often feel much sorrow!! Sometimes to cope I just bury it to get through a day and to make sure my feet go one in front of the other!! This is what it made me think of!! Take Care Bridgette |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Hello, I am trying to be a student of style and I want to say I especially enjoy yours in this poem. Touching!!! DH |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Silent Sapphire skies--oh, you do know how to put three words together and make them sing. This poem is so full of sad emotion and very well done. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree! This is excellent, Claire! Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Absolutely beautiful...very well written Claire |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
"...rhythm hammers hollow..." All I can say is Wow...this is exquisitely written and in riveting style! My father reads alot of your works, and just the other night, was telling me how GOOD you are - I see now that I need to devote much more of my time online to you! hehe I don't get to read nearly as much as I'd like to. If all your stuff is this good, I should go back and catch up on some! ** I'm reaching for the brightest star I've ever seen - knock my ladder out from under me, and you'll wish you hadn't !! -pFF ** Here's to 2000! |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Claire, I've injoyed you poems so much, since I found this lovely place, of friends. You are such a word smith. How long have you been writing, if this is just a new talent of yours i'll be really really pissed. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Bridgette...yes, it's that sorrow that often produces the most beautiful work, I think. Thanks for reading and responding today. Danny...thank you. I read a wonderful piece of yours just a bit ago and you're definitely headed down the right poetic path! Martie...thank you, Martie. Such a kind response! So glad you enjoyed this one. Denise...thanks so much for reading and letting me know that you enjoyed. Hoot Owl...as always, thank you for your commentary...(still working on that wav file!) Femme...I'm glad you found something to enjoy with this piece, and thanks to your father for his comment (by proxy ) I know exactly what you mean about not being able to read all the poetry that you'd like...there is so much fine work here! I try to get by here with a cup of tea whenever I can during the day, and nearly always for a bit in the evening, and STILL cannot find time to read all the works! Haleyja...I'm still smiling at your remark! Very cute! I thank you for reading and responding to this piece. I've been writing since um, well, I guess since the beginning of time...but just recently (relatively speaking) retired my chisel, hammer and stone tablets for a keyboard. I've still got them, just in case this newfangled keyboard thing doesn't work out. Claire |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Oh wow, Meadowmuse...stunningly sad this is. I felt this so much that it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing such an elegant and well done piece with us. *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MeadowMuse- I not only liked this poem very much ... your sense of humor A~muses~ me. Great work, gal. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Very sad but so well imparted!! Your muse is working very well these days. Your sense of humour ain't too shabby either lol. Love the poem. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I'm almost speachless with the beauty of this poem. It should certainly be published along with many of your fine poems I hope to see it in print some day Liz [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 01-20-2000).] |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Krista, Marge, Shawna, Elizabeth...thank you ALL for reading, and for offering such encouraging responses. Awfully nice. I think this piece, though brief, is one of my own favorites. Glad you all enjoyed it. Claire |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
If words can cut like a knife If words can paint a picture If words can describe what feelings can't hide If words can say what the heart can't divide You have done it here Very sadly do, my dear My heart goes out to you here Beautiful The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
The manner in which you say so much with so little is a testament to your talent. Well done, Claire! --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Helmut...Your heart has a comforting way, my friend. Thank you. Skyfyre...Thank you for your kindness and for reading my work in the first place. Claire |
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Grandma Jo Member
since 2000-01-02
Posts 51 |
wonderfully done but oh, so sad. Loved the poem. |
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