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she simply fell apart
| Open Poetry #5 |
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she simply fell apart |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
she fell over her arm tripped on it, actually and marveled, to see her foot stay behind as well she struggled to right herself but the proceeding unbalanced stumble only served to jar another limb and next I think was her other arm because she couldn't seem to catch the falling pieces nor herself as she repeatedly hit rock bottom she never saw them go, but her ears must have been next cause she couldn't hear the offers for help and she couldn't bear to even hear herself think. and last, as she sat with no arms and no legs (and no ears) and cried, because she still had her eyes, must have been her heart the swelling in her chest just didn't leave room for it any more |
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| © Copyright 2000 fc - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This is interesting....now I have to sit back and really think about this one!! Take Care Bridgette |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Bravo...fc... whoever you are! Bravo!!!! This is genius... |
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simplyYRREHS Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 162 |
fc~ Interesting. I never really cared for Mrs. Potato Head much (  ), but the writing has intrigued me, none-the-less. Arms, Legs, (ears?)...I think I can adequately apply some meaning to the ears and heart thing. But I'm still chewing on the initial trip over the arm. As if my head didn't have enough to dwell on, now you will have me thinking "pieces" 'til I solve the thought.BTW, Welcome to Passions!  Sherry< !signature-->"Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads." ~Henry David Thoreau [This message has been edited by simplyYRREHS (edited 01-18-2000).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
We often don't hear the offers for help when we start stumbling... Good poem! Welcome! |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
thanks all, your comments mean much to me |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very interesting poem, FC! Welcome to Passions! I enjoyed this very much!! Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
That's a very unique style... HUSG Don't ask me where I'm going, just listen when I'm gone and far away you'll hear me singing softly to the dawn. |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Love it, and welcome! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ Love is such a lonely art, and death is but a taste. Minds are merely instruments that often go to waste! ~*~ ^i^ ~*~ |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
again thanks...and rainbow...hugs back |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Very good poem! Welcome to the family.. fasten your seat belt, you're in for some wild times!  |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
All i can add is that I hope never to fall apart. But yes it was so that I read it twice Perhaps i fell apart, well done Welcome The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Welcome to passions, your entrance has been an intriging one!!! Good start! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Absolutely ingenious...welcome to passions |
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Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
This reminded me of my older daughter 7 there's been times I've watched her fall apart from one side of the room to the other. UNIQUE! Right up our ally. WELCOME |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
fc- Now this constitutes an ~ENTRANCE~ What an intriguing piece. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Wow. A thought provoking one to say the least. Lovely. Welcome! ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
WELCOME! I like this too! Very unique in your description! <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
This is wonderful! It reminds me of myself during the hysterical, hormonal age of fourteen; and of my daughter in the same problem time at thirteen and fourteen ... man alive, how did we live through that! No one could possibly describe it better than you have! I have tried for decades! ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG |
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JTF Member
since 1999-08-09
Posts 319France |
This is a very powerful poem fc ... it'll take time but you'll put the pieces back in place and you'll feel better ... and yes it helps to write ... SMOOCHES |
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fc Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 130 |
thanks again all, your comments do help lots, I appreciate the welcome....... |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is very deep I need time to think it through , excellent work, welcome to passions look forward to reading more of your work |
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