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Open Poetry #5
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In your Sky
| Open Poetry #5 |
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In your Sky |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678
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In your Sky ~First Knight~ Skies were dark when I started the flight, Deep in the seat with my hands gripped tight. Bump a bump the wind did make, Currents of change decide my fate. Forecast was clear and clouds did fade, I've been here before this trip I've made. I stand now in the door way out, Shaking with fear, full of doubt. Ready to jump. I've checked my gear, Jumpmaster said you've nothing to fear. Making this step requires much more, More than just stepping out the door. I jumped into the sky that's you, Without a prayer, upon your cue. I took that leap and said the word, "I love you Dear" was all you heard. I said those words, You wanted to hear "I love you Darling", I love you Dear" Took a chance, releasing my heart, Jumping in love, making that start. But I was saved as you replied "I love you too", "My fear has died." With those sweet words my chute deployed, In your winds of love, my heart overjoyed. I softly fall to the ground below, Forever in love, Which will always grow. Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe |
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| © Copyright 2000 First__Knight - All Rights Reserved | |||
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catslair Junior Member
since 2000-01-16
Posts 48 |
cherish what you have and do not think about the what not's.....you are very lucky indeed....... |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
This is wonderful First_knight I really like it , another great one from you  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
David, this is so beautiful! I love the formatting, too! Great analogy! Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
I too, like the analogy you used here FK...and find the poem quite lovely... I'd like to make a copy, with your permission.. A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! Shannon |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
David, I'm not sure my words at this time can express the beauty in this poem, and to know it was written for me, makes it all the more beautiful. I absolutely love everything about it from the words to the formatting. Sometimes we have to just jump, take those chances or forever look to the skies and think about what might have been. Thank you for finding the faith and courage to jump. Hugs Ruth |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Bravo! The formatting was great, it really captured the feeling of a free fall, the wind rushing beneath me, the exhiliration, the freedom! Oh, and congrats you two.  It matters not how strait the gate; How charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. --W.E. Henley |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
First, Well done enjoyed the read. |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
This is one of the best love poems I came across. The way you describe the leap of faith makes it looks as easy as a skydive Well done, very well I shall say. I shall keep my eye on you The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Thank you Catslair, Whiskey, Denise. Of course Pepper...Honored that you would want to. Thank you Tara this was what I tried to make it look like. Thank you Sy....From you that means something HelmutB..Ruth has spoke highly of you so I am glad to hear from you Ruth----Your are my way, my path, and my writing. thank you for just being you and always being there Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
First_Knight- What a 'leap of faith' you've taken here. Hoot- how about joining him in a tandem free-fall? Great formatting and just overall terrific ! You go guy ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Marge...I think I've already jumped |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
A great poem. The middle "free-fall" section is done so well you really do feel like you're falling -- in measured rhythms, that is. Great stuff. Mike |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Thank you bsquirrel I was hoping for such an effect. Marge....I drug her to the door to push her out and when I turn around she fell on her own....Could not possibly let her go all by herself.....LOL Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe |
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kitkat Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878Nova Scotia |
First_Knight That first leap is always a doizee. Glad to hear your chute opened. I too liked the way you formatted the feeling. |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
First_Knight, I love the analogy and the formatting. Absolutely wonderful piece here! And Hoot is very blessed to have this written for her, but of course she already knows that. BTW I really like your signature. Very cool!! Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
kitkat- Thank you so much Wildchild- Thank you Wildchild.....my signature I changed to that recently to just bring a smile.... Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe |
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