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My Weeping One
| Open Poetry #5 |
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My Weeping One |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
My Weeping OneMy weeping one asleep, I swiftly rose, moved forward into brittle breathing air. Crept through the icy streets on tender toes. My weeping one asleep, I left her there. And looking back but once, I hurried on, no choice could I have known there on that night, that hurt and horrors could be overthrown. My weeping one asleep, I fled in fright. And gnawing nights like this one when I fear the moist and melting moan of passion's pain. Though arching aching sighs I'll surely hear, My weeping one's still sleeping in the rain.  Claire |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Wow! I'm not sure what was the inspiration of this piece, Claire, but it truly gave me chills for some reason. Beautiful verse tinged with regretfullness...a lovely combination. Michael |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Beautiful verse, but disturbing thoughts I love your writing Liz |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Very chilling poem Claire , I liked it  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Meadow, Good passion, good paint, good job, good poem Sy |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Spechless, only one word comes to mind "WOW" This is so soft but yet the impact it has The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Rus Bowden Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 139 |
Hi Claire, Oh! I think of a child left behind as the parent goes off to the world, but will the child be alright? and you've left that open. Yet life goes on, but what price to we pay in this life? Penetrating poetry! Rus |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
I'll have to go with Michael on this one -- it left me with a directionless sense of sadness and loss ... Poignant writing, Claire. --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree! Excellent! It does evoke emotions of despair. Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Michael...I will take your chills as a compliment, if you please. Thank you for your verbal one, as well. Liz...Thank you. We are mutual admirers, then, as I so enjoy your work. Whiskey...Thank you, glad to hear that you liked this one. Sy...Thank you sincerely. HelmutB...I'm glad it had such an impact for you, and thanks for letting me know. Rus...Thank you, and indeed, what price? Your perceptive response is encouraging. Claire |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Kess, Denise...thank you both for reading and responding with such nice comments. Glad you enjoyed this piece. Claire |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow |
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