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KristieSue
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0 posted 2003-10-30 01:18 PM




PROS

*We have a great time together
*He's sweet and sincere
*He's a gentleman
*He's head over heels for me
*He turns me on
*He is responsible
*If things went so far, he'd make a great husband
*He thinks of me all the time - what I want, what might make me happy, what I'm going through, etc.
*He will call or send me a message throughout the day just to let me know he is thinking about me
*He loves to cuddle and just hold hands
*a few other things I will think of later...

CONS
*He doesn't have any religous background, and I do
*He SUCKS at kissing (I wouldn't know about anything else yet)and is a WET kisser...bleh.


I know my list of Pros is a heck of a lot longer than the cons, but for some reason there is this looming feeling in me.  I like this guy a lot - so does my family - and feel like i'm going nuts.  I would just accept "take it slow", but he is crazy head over heels and if I'm not going to stay with him, I want to decide it now, not later.  He is the type, I think, who gets hurt quite easily...  any ideas?

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

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magic_612
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since 2003-07-31
Posts 190
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1 posted 2003-10-30 04:30 PM


Well he sounds like a great guy and you are right, there are way more pros than cons. In my opinion, the kissing is no big deal. Honestly, if you drop a few hints he'll probably get better. Don't be mean about it, but be upfront. Think about it as if the wheels were turned, and he hated your kisses. Would you want to know so you can make it better for him?

Also, as far as religion, thats a person's own individual choice. I know it is extremely important to some people, but you should respect his differences. I know many couples who can work through that.

All in all, it depends on what you feel for the guy. If you are not happy and you just can't get past these two things, you need to talk about things. It's really nice of you to be so concerned over hurting him, but yuo have to do this for you.

Great guys come few and far between, so I hope you make the right choice.

KristieSue
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2 posted 2003-10-30 06:12 PM


Well, I sat down with my grandmother and had a talk with her about it.  Afterwards, I feel that I will give this relationship a chance.  I mean, kissing I guess is a teachable thing.  It's not going to make or break the relationship for me.  The religion issue is something that is a big deal for me, but he agreed to go to church with me, so for now, that will have to do :-)  I am just afraid to break his heart (not that I think I'm going to)...and afraid to have mine broken.

Thanks for your opinion.

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

Ringo
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3 posted 2003-10-30 09:50 PM


Plain and simple... if there is, in your words, a "looming feeling" over you, then you need to bail as quickly as possible. Your guts will very, very seldom let you down, and will almost alwyas tell you what's real... if you have the forethought to listen.

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

Alicat
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since 1999-05-23
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4 posted 2003-10-30 11:26 PM


As Magic said, religion is personal choice.  And I know from experience it can work out.  My parents have diametrical religious views (she being Church of Christ, he being Wiccan) and they're going on 39 years married.  Relationships last so long as both want it to.  The moment one or both stops, that's the end of it.
magic_612
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5 posted 2003-10-30 11:39 PM


also, try not to let your fear of getting hurt get in your way. I speak from experience on this one. I always had a wall built up between me and people I thought could hurt me. When I met the right person I realized all along I had to take these walls down or it would never work. We've been together for nine months now and we're perfect. I still have a few issues regarding trust, but it's not with trusting him, it's with trusting women.. I know thats insane.. lol. My point is, he might me the one, so don't let the fear get in your way.. it will definately hinder your happiness. Just smile and take things day by day
littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
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New York
6 posted 2003-10-31 04:28 AM


it is all in that kiss . . .
KristieSue
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7 posted 2003-10-31 07:47 AM


thanks for that insight...

See Sue, that's what I'm talkin' about LOL  I'm a big kisser and LOVE to kiss...so when kissing isn't a good part of the relationship then it throws me off I guess.  I mean, I hate to seem so shallow as to say I'd end the relationship for THAT (I wouldn't), but it bugs me.  

just gonna smack myself in the head and get over it I guess :-)

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

KristieSue
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8 posted 2003-10-31 07:48 AM


and...if I had always followed my GUT feeling, I would have lost out of a lot of good things in my life...some friendships.  But, maybe I wouldn't have been hurt by someone more than most people have ever hurt me.  Guess it pays to be able to have a cold heart towards someone you deem unworthy.

Ya know what they say.  Curiosity salted the snail.

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