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Time out for myself.....?
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Time out for myself.....? |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding 
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My life has been really hectic lately. I just lost the man I love, both as a boyfriend and as a person, as we broke up two days before a blood clot travelled to his heart and killed him (not a sympathy plug, read on and you'll see the point of telling you this). A close friend advised me to be a little bit selfish and take time out for myself before trying to find someone new to get to know and perhaps fall in love with. My question is this: How exactly do I do that? The 24 hours my horses have been the center of my world as I've tried to come to terms with what happened. Would continuing to do that be a part of taking time for myself? I'm so confused to what taking time for myself is... I don't usually do that. Anyway, any suggestions are muchly appreciated  |
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| © Copyright 2003 Rhonda Adolph - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Right now? YOU take this hug from me, please?  And you find whatever it is that feeds your soul, and indulge in that a bit. Oh sweetie, my heart does go out to you. write me? |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Rhonda, How tragic! After my divorce 18 years ago I said I was going to learn to be single since I got married so young. For me it was about taking time to live alone and not rushing any relationships. But first you have to come to terms with your loss which won't be easy. Everybody is different. That's why there isn't a manual. Peace, love and hope to you.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Take some time off to yourself. That means, don't let the stresses of the world pile onto your feelings. Take some time away from school, work, and just spend some time relaxing and doing things that you love, but at the same times, things that you can think while you do... so you can think about yourself, about this situation with your loved one, and perhaps reach some personal closure. Personally, when it comes to moving on, I'd advise that you don't ever really "move on," because that implies leaving something behind. Take him with you always... those memories of him, hold them dear to your heart, because you won't ever lose everything that you ever had with him. Just look back on him as something wonderful that happened in your life... always keep his memory and I know you'll be fine, Rhonda. You're a strong girl, you've demonstrated that many times to me in piptalk alone. So yeah, take some time to yourself, that's exactly what I'd advise as well. Just forget all your stress and obligations for a while. I'm sure anyone it matters to will understand why... Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
 Hey Rhonda! Remember me?I think it's obvious that a lot of people here will miss you, but as long as you promise to return with some great poetry, take a break from everything. Find new hobbies that interest you, pick up a good book and relax. Pop some popcorn, and spread out in front of a TV with a really good movie playing. Be selfish. Take this time and make it yours. You need to know yourself before you can really know anyone else. Be ourself again. I know it's hard after a breakup to realize that you're still a whole person, and not part of a half. Look in the mirror and yell a big HELLO!  But more importantly, hang in there. (And email me). --Marie "You can be idealistic for all of ten seconds before you die." (Imitation of Life) [This message has been edited by Fading Away (05-22-2003 01:43 PM).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
*hugs* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend, in both ways. How tragic! By all means, take time for yourself, but do remember where your talents reside, and when you are of sound mind and heart, come back and share with us as you have in the past. My thoughts will be with you. |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
I'm so sorry...  Aren't horses wonderful? Mine always make me feel a hundred times better. Perhaps it's good that you're hanging out with them... they're the most calming and peaceful creatures I've ever known. My opinion... DO take some time for yourself, but don't confuse it with being alone. Because being isolated is probably the worst thing you can do. And you mentioned something about looking for love? My suggestion is to look for friends, and you'll find love. Good luck...  -Lioness [This message has been edited by blueyedlioness (05-23-2003 11:57 AM).] |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*smile* Serene One, I will email you as soon as I can manage to steal some more time on the computer, I promise *hugs* Larry... thank you Brian... awww, thank you Marie... I will email you, and I will return with some great poetry, I promise hehe *hugs* Andrew... danka *hugs* Sunshine... thank you for your thoughts; they mean a great deal to me Lioness... thank you Things are not as bad as I thought they would be. Granted I haven't cried yet, and I've been too busy to think about him, but I know that when I'm ready to feel everything, I will, and then I'll be able to carry on knowing that it's okay for me to still love him, although my love for him has already changed... it's peaceful, almost... really difficult to describe, but I hope to elaborate on paper tonight or tomorrow night. I have the weekend off of work and I think I'll ust relax, do some weeding for my dad, do some riding, and just chill and remember Will and what I had with him. Hopefully I'll be able to write a poem that is worthy of his memory... it's still so surreal to me, although that is probably because I haven't felt it yet. Thank you all so much for your support, and I promise that I will be back and I will share the words and phrases I put together with you all. Have a good evening *waves* |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
a very long trail ride sounds like a healing way to put everything back in place, your feelings, your love, your future plans ride the pain away, and you'll be ready for a new pathway soon heart hugs to you, friend |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*runs and tackles you* Then Ti slowly slips away... |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Having experienced this particular pain more than once -- all I can tell you is that the future takes care of itself -- it comes at us regardless of whether we're ready for it or not. But, taking 'self' time -- I've found is not that great of an option. I indulged myself, and one has to to get into the mourning process -- but to get out of it -- I've found nothing better than being totally selfless and involving my'self' in helping others. Yesterdays normal is gone. Today is the new normal -- and it's the only normal that will ever be. Just don't be afraid to get angry -- it's justified. And normal. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Rhonda I think you first must deal with the loss of your friend, and that also fits into taking time out for yourself. Even though you severed that relationship before his death, you had good times together that represent a loss to you. Being good to YOU, is the first step in finding a path to follow in the future. This path is not being selfish but it certainly is self care. Once you have expelled your internal pain, then the goodness that radiates from within you will be that which propels you forward. I wish you a pleasant new journey for it will lead to a new path in your life. On this one detour, you have my heartfelt hugs, and understanding. |
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