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What do you consider cheating on a mate?
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What do you consider cheating on a mate? |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
I'm VERY interested to see the results of this question... ...well, what do you think? Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life...... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
wow, what a loaded question. lol. i imagine the replies will be nearly as varied as the repliers. my op: i think that the boundaries of a relationship need to be discussed and defined... mutually; within the confines of the relationship, both partners must come to an agreement of that which would be acceptable as well as what is unacceptable within their morals/desires/future goals. going outside that agreement is cheating. a lot of people will probably define the answer of your question with something along the lines of any romantic contact outside of your partner. however, i don't believe that what works for one couple will necessarily work for the next. to blindly accept society's strictures and structure of a relationship is the disallowment of growth. study yourself, your beliefs, and act within that framework. if what you believe when viewing this from an open mind follows that which is "standard," then all the better for you. if not, then more power to you as well, as long as you and the person you are in the relationship with can come to terms and agreement on the differences. [This message has been edited by Christopher (09-22-2002 01:22 AM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am not a monogamous sort of person. surprise... neither is "he" actually. What I consider cheating has little to do with a physical loyalty. I feel cheated whenever I don't feel a comaradery, a trust--even if it means he says to me, "I'm really attracted to someone else"--I prefer that to a LIE. I told someone once, (don't ask the date--grin) that "I love you so much, I want the best for you--even if that does not include ME." This is what I want to give--it's the level of love that I strive for--and what I want in return...and yes, anything less? I feel cheated. It has nothing to do with the physical. Any body can scratch an itch. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Any body can scratch an itch. I beg to differ. Well, ok...but not so good as the right body. You are cheating, when YOU feel like you are cheating. Sometimes, a quite thin line. But one you define for yourself. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
I guess it depends on the depth an nature of the relationship. Though you are cheating if make your partner believe that you are both at the same level of commitment, when you are less comitment. Cheating is in the lies and betrayal. Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
I've got to agree with Christopher. Boundaries need to be set by each couple. Each person has their own personality and way of doing things. I know some people that feel like they're cheating if they even so much as look at another person long enough. A couple should discuss with each other and agree on a set boundary. This can always been tightened or loosened later. -Adam |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
no but I thoguht u were talking about pinchin a friends boyfriend. In that case I wouldn't either. If your afraid of the dark, then why did you come? |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
I pretty much agree to what Chris said, it depends on what the two people agree on. I myself am a very monogamous person as well. If my boyfriend started cybering with some girl on the net,then I consider that cheating, be it physically or emotionally. Then I would have to say "Hit the road Jack"  |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Definitly personal choice, it's up to the partners involved. *I* personally see that there are levels to dating. Although anyone you are "seeing" has a right to any jealous feeling to having you "see" other people; it cannot be considered cheating in my eyes because you two are not exclusive. When, however, the relationship becomes one on one and exclusive- the two should then agree to be only with one another, no outside contact with others. And I don't see "cybering" as cheating..just rather silly. Why is it that we are at our most ingenius only when trying to destroy the things that keep us alive and thriving? |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
I tend to disagree with relationships completely and the moronic boundaries they place upon a human being. The last few relationships I was in ended up with me telling the person that I had cheated on them several times and as such couldn't respect them because they would still be willing to stay with me. So yes, I would cheat on a partner because relationships aren't something I value in life. There are far more important things to deal with. "No wonder I do not make people comfortable. I am a mirror. I have far too many things to say." - Mouthing the Words |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Hmmm---all interesting replies! MY personal views on cheating cannot be had, unless I first discuss the "boundaries" part. For the most part, there's different parts of me that agrees with all of you...you I still hold my opinion! It's all a matter of trust---whether that trust be weak, or strong...it's still trust! If I had a girl who I full fledgidly trusted (and I do), and she shared my EXACT views on cheating (which she doesn't) then I'd be perfectly fine. Y'see---to me...cheating is doing ANYTHING in which starts a romantic relationship with someone else. Dating, risks romance---so that's kinda outta the question. Sure, if me and my girl had a full understanding and same views---she could fool around with whoever she wanted to. It would be okay to me, just as long as she outright TOLD me! Sure, it'd hurt---but unless it's romance...she still loves me, and nothing really changes that! I trusted her to do as she wished---and she did...I trust her to tell me, and if that ever happen, I would gladly like to hear of it. Y'see---my "theory" stretches and breaks the trust! The trust is broken, by selling your body...but that's compensated by being told about it! We can't learn about ourselves by being chained to one person---but as long as it doesn't go stupidly far...it's okay! Mmmm...and again, if you feel bad about it---then you're most likely to stop! Aye? And when that happens, you KNOW you're cheating! *nods nods* Let's turn the page here---to yet another aspect. Another trust; if she doesn't want you to cheat...and wants you to keep your love and body sacred to one another. ...You tell her you won't---then she's trusting you not to break her trust! Dispite anything, her word...her not wanting you to pounce another girl---should be easy! If you really care for her, then you'd respect her word...and request! Should you not? Hugging, is fine Kissing on the cheek, is fine Kissing, is fine (just as long as it isn't everyone you see) Sex, it's a double edged sword Finding love in another, is drawing the line! Those're my two-pennies!  [Sorry for the monosexed examples] Here I am, I am your child...lying safe and warm. In your womb...for I am, the unwated life...... |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
'So yes, I would cheat on a partner because relationships aren't something I value in life.' So why would you even get into a relationship in the first place, knowing that you hold this value? I don't know... I hold monogamy pretty highly... I agree that it should be set by the two involved... some people are fine with their lovers snuggling and flirting with others... whatever floats their boat. But I just can't see cheating on someone you're in a close relationship with... if you don't want the committment of the relationship, break it off, and then you can be with as many people as you want. But don't go share your body and love with other people and expect your long-term partner to be happy as a clam to provide emotional stability while you're shopping around. Can't have your cake and eat it too. 'Well, I will not be an enemy of anything |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
When she's all like "Community Chest declares you god. Collect $5,000." "What? Let me see the card!" "No, honey." "Are you crazy? Do you think I'm gonna fall for this?" "Hey, you're the one who 'mysteriously' came up with $1,000 to pay for landing on Boardwalk!" "Oh..." I HATE that. |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
bsquirrel. ROTF that was good.  |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Ask Bill Clinton. |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
"I, did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky...she had sex with me!" All I do, is think about you... |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
LOL, I wonder how many men tried to use that line with their wives or girlfriends? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
he could've said it wasn't sex but making love là où est mon amour? |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Good one!  |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank God George Bush is in the White House now! I missed wars, economic recession and the sale of natural lots to the highest bidder! And all while receiving less than half of the popular vote. Good ol' W! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
My apologies. That was woefully out of context. Delete as you may. |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
*thinks* Hmmm...I DOUBT that line'd go over well with Rimma...-_-v All I do, is think about you... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
bsquirrel - Thank you for that. Needed a good laugh. |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
I can't believe I am going to say this, but I have to say that I actually agree with Chris on this one. (I've been doing that more and more these days) Opeth & bsquirrel.... ROLFMAO! You crack me up!~Sheri "Don't wait for your ship to come in ... Swim out to it" [This message has been edited by Irie (09-27-2002 12:15 AM).] |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Like Serenity, I am not a monogamous person... "Cheating" is too complicated. What ever happened to the Care Bears' lesson of sharing?Hmm? |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Hey, Parasite. Once you can count backwards from 5 and have this huge, heart-shaped light beam come flying out your chest, give me a call. We should talk. |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
*slaps head* Daio Shenron... Hehe---funny you should mention a countdown! Anyways, back to the topic at hand...like I'm pretty sure I mentioned before, the answers will vary in numbers as great as those who reply to the question! All I do, is think about you... |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
hmmm...let's ask mr. clinton what classifies as cheating he knows[This message has been edited by RosePetal (09-29-2002 07:44 PM).] |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Hehe---let's all get impeached! All I do, is think about you... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Now there's a t-shirt slogan if ever there was one.Of course, it would help greatly if you were fronting a punk band. Ah well. |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Hahahaha!!! "Let's all get impeached---MUTILATE YOUR KNEE!!!" All I do, is think about you... |
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