»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
The Greatest Love.
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
The Greatest Love. |
|
|
bgryan Junior Member
since 2003-06-16
Posts 30North Ireland |
Tomorrow I will rejoice my tears will cease to fall a smile will reappear on the fairest face of all. The sun will shine again in the eyes that I adore a rose of thorns will embrace the sweetest flower of all. Tomorrow I will remember the life we shared together and be glad I loved you. How long must I wait before we share the light how long must I wait for my heart's delight. Until tomorrow I will recall the greatest love of all. |
||
| © Copyright 2003 B.G.Ryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
gourdmad Member
since 2003-12-01
Posts 136Upper Ohio Valley |
"a rose of thorns will embrace" This line seems awkward. I tried to see the pattern of beats in your lines but they seem, perhaps only to me, random between 6-7-8, so don't want to adjust the length in any sugestion I might make. a rose with thorns will embrace a rose and thorns will embrace a thorny rose will embrace or to move less cautiously in suggesting: a stem of thorns will embrace the sweetest flower of all. which removes the strong word rose but, really, what other flower has a thorned stem? While there may be some, the rose is the one most strongly implied. Does shift the sense more to the lover being the stem and the beloved the rose supported by the lover. Which you may not want to do. [This message has been edited by gourdmad (12-11-2003 11:13 AM).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
