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felt
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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felt |
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tecoyah Member
since 2003-11-16
Posts 83NY |
if only once, I feel this chill from heated life melting all I thought I was no touch can compare, to the image burned in the retina of my soul I knew this once, I think in dreams half forgotten the tip of my minds tongue tasting imagined futures of love sweetening the bile that is life the fabric of love is felt |
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cynicsRus Senior Member
since 2003-06-06
Posts 591So Cal So Cool! |
I must say, I mostly liked this. Statements as paradoxical as, “chill from heated life,” are the sorts of things I find compelling. However, if the eyes are metaphorically, “the windows of the soul,” I’m not sure how the soul would have a retina. Besides, it should be “into,” rather than “in.” “no touch can compare,” is a bit hackneyed. “bile” seems too strong for this particular premise—or it may be that this line’s just a bit too paradoxical for me. Sid @ www.cynicsRus.com |
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